HEAT •jb•

30~ "Shut up"

READ END NOTES PLS
Songs: Come as You Are by Yuna
Bated Breath by Tinashe

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"Breath Char!" Ki snaps as I take a deep breath attempting to steady my heart rate slightly. I swear I'm about to have a breakdown, the adrenaline is running through my body so fast I feel like I'm either going to punch somebody in the face or pass out into a messy pile on the floor; most likely the latter. I take a few shaky breaths, my hands resting either side of the white basin in the polished bathrooms not too far away from the place I've just basically marched away from.

"I think I want to leave." I mumble after a few minutes silence and contemplating the idea in my head. Kiara furrows her eyebrows and looks fairly shocked as well as disappointment at my statement.

"We've got everybody here and you just want to go home because of one person?" She asks, one eyebrow raised, her serious face making me uncomfortable as I shift my gaze from her to the marble by my hands.

"Yes....No. I want to be away from him right now." I mumble shyly my finger drawing an invisible pattern on the counter top.

"For the last three months you've wanted nothing more than to fucking be near him!" Kia snaps loudly, her eyes rolling and the harsh tine she uses hitting me like a slap to the face. Ki never shouts at me like this. I'm not liking it. "I've heard nothing more than how it hurts you, how you're empty and now he's here and you want to leave? I'm done with you, you're confusing as fuck and I'm sorry but I haven't got time for your dumbass decision changing." I roll my eyes a small wave of anger washing over me with her obvious lies. Yes, I may have felt sorry for myself, but not for long. I mention Justin once or twice per day at most but I feel as though it's more 'out of sight out of mind'. Kiara keeps ping on with her rant, her annoyingly high pitched babbles making me want to walk straight out of here and to home where I can curl up in bed and watch movies all night.

"Shut up..." I groan my fingers massaging my temples softly hearing Kia huff, we're not like this.

"The most annoying thing is that through everything, you and Alex have been all over each other." Kiara grumbles to herself as I glare at her.

"I'm not sure if this is some motivational...thing or something like that, but I suggest you take a seat and quit telling me what to do. You know, I've really tried and it's just a bit of a shock when somebody I had never expected to see again turns up at my birthday party. So it'd be greatly appreciated if you could either be a good friend and not shout at me right now or you can go fuck yourself." I speak slowly, my hands shaking a little as I purse my lips, not dropping my eyes from Kiara's for a second.

We end up in silence as I tap my foot against the floor. Maybe, I'd simply drank more than I thought and...no, that doesn't work otherwise Ki wouldn't have seen Him too. Maybe I should... I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore. "I'm sorry for snapping." I mumble shyly, my toe twisting into the floor where my eyes were fixated.

"It was unfair of me." Kia replies sheepishly as we both fall back into silence. I was beginning to become restless now and the thought of Justin possible waiting outside the bathroom, or being out there terrifies me. This was too much of a birthday surprise. The last thing he said to me was 'I love you', I thought he was just saying it because he felt bad for me; now that he's here, out of the blue, it's making me question that.

I don't know how I feel about the whole thing, which makes me very... touchy on the subject, push me the wrong way with this and I think I might explode like a bomb. I'm terrified of seeing Justin because I'm not sure how I'll react. Half of me thinks I might slap him in the face and tell him how much of a douchebag he is for sleeping (or at least going out) with all of those tall, blonde model chicks; the other half thinks I might just burst into tears and jump into his arms, I'm not really happy with either of those reactions right now.