War- Torn Child Turned Author with Anxiety

Therapy Sessions and Alchol

     It's another session, no journaling, no garden, no anything. Just talking, resuming what they did last time he was here. Puffy starts off with a simple question or two, and then gets into the nitty-gritty stuff.
      "So first off, I wanna know about all those flowers and what they mean, since you obviously wrote them down to convey your emotions to the best of your ability," she vaguely gestures to the book lying open on the table next to her.
     "Magnolias are a symbol of perseverance, and Lillies of the Valley are a symbol of sweetness and trust," he says, voice filled with caution. He knows that Puffy will ask him questions sooner rather than later.
    "Ok, why those two flowers for the first line? You are very perseverant, if your willingness to fight for L'manburg and your discs after so long is anything to go by." Shit, she's overanalysing this shit. Oh well, he'll deal with it for now.
     "Yes, but I've lost my will to live. I could die at any moment, have come close to dying and I don't fight back anymore. Jack tried to kill me and all I did was ask if he's ever watched Moana. I want that perseverance to live, or do anything other than experience what I do or have. I know I'm not trustworthy nor very trusting; and that's merely because of a few broken promises. All of those promises were to never be like them, and to stay by each other's side, no matter what it was us against the world."
      Puffy hums in thought before asking about the Begonias, Rues, and Creeping Willows. "Begonias are a way of saying beware but I used it in a context that shows that I'm wary of everything and everyone around me or their intentions, Rues are symbolic of: regret, sorrow, and repentance. As for Creeping Willows, they resemble a love that's forsaken."
    Puffy hums again, before diving into it, straightforward as possible. "Why Rues and Creeping Willows specifically? I understand Aries for sorrow, since you do miss L'manburg greatly and have more attachment to it as you were practically brothers with its president and we're a co-founder, correct? But why regret, why repentance? You did your time in exile for something that should've been a light punishment such as helping George rebuild the house, so what is there to repent for? And the love forsaken, is that meant to be a reference to Wilbur, or someone else?"
        Tommy thought that now was better than ever to tell the truth, or at least part of it. "The creeping willows are for everyone in my life at this point. Wilbur abused me in Pogtopia, and died later after blowing up his unfinished symphony, Phil was never there for me as a child and it's no different now. I betrayed Techno, but I had my reasons. I was t comfortable to open up about what he did and Techno had an interaction with him and said somethings to him that made me scared to stay. Tubbo's got a family, so he no longer has time for me either, and I'm pretty sure Fundy has a vendetta against me," he finishes.
       "Talk to Fundy, ask about his stance on you as an uncle or family member, not just as a fellow parent with trauma. As for Tubbo, he still wants to hang out with you. You're his best friend, and he considers you his brother, his family," he hates how Puffy put emphasis on family, "just because he's married and has a son doesn't mean he doesn't care or doesn't have time for you. Talk to him too, while you're at it."
      Thats what gets Tommy, he wants to talk to Tubbo, his Tubbo. Yet he can't, cause Tubbo has enough on his plate as is, and Tommy is just adding more onto it if he were to enter (or re-enter) Tubbo's life. Besides, Tubbo has Ranboo, the replacement, his replacement, so he's certainly not needed. It's always Bee'n'Boo and it always will be.
      "Tommy," Puffy says, voice firm as though giving a command, "just because Tubbo and Ranboo are married or have their own issues does not mean that they don't care for you. Ranboo is not your replacement, no matter what anyone says. Just send them a message, tell them that you want to talk okay?"
    He sighs and gives in, pulling out his communicator only to send a message to Quackity asking about visiting Las Nevadas later. That seemed to satisfy her because next thing that happens is that she stands up and tells him that they're done for the day.

    He trudged over to Las Nevadas, checking the casino for any sign of Quackity. He was t there, so he goes to check 'The Needle' or whatever the fuck it was called. Just his luck, cause he bumps into Tubbo while on his way there.
     Tubbo says nothing, and neither does Tommy. Today started decent and then therapy happened and he's been off since. Next thing he knows he's enveloped in a hug, and his reaction is to fight back at first. He thought it was Tubbo who was  hugging him at first, then quickly shook that idea away.
    "Hey Big Q, didn't expect a surprise hug from you today. You doing alright," is what he replies with. Though is instead met with spluttering and then "No, Tommy. It's me, Tubbo."
     Tommy won't say he fucked up, cause here comes Quackity, walking with Wilbur and Ranboo. As always, Ranboo beelines to Tubbo and Tommys left in the dirt. He's okay though, he just goes over and pats Quackity on the arm three times, his signal for 'talk in private please.'
     Otherwise known as Quackity's cue to drag Tommy into a bar or something around here and slip Tommy one or two drinks. "Much better than smoking," is his only thought before Quackity nods and puts his hand in top of Tommy's to tell him he understood and to give him some time.
     Everyone except for Tommy and Quackity has left, and Quackity immediately hands Tommy a flask. Full of what is what they're unsure of. He starts off by asking if Quackity has ever felt like a third wheel. He'll let the dam break and the flood flow from here.