Daughters

Marja-Anne Karlsson

My name is Marja-Anne Karlsson

I am 16 years old from Amherst, Massachusetts. Now I live in Gilead.

Im telling you  this in secret. Maybe some day someone will read this or listen to me, it could be the end of me or it could be the beginning of me.

Ill give you the little bit of backstory I have before I tell you about my life here.

My father is Anders Karlsson, he is Swedish, and my mother is Margaret Chapel is American. They were never married and I was born out of wedlock, they broke up when i was 4 because my mother became somewhat obsessed with religion. What started as going to church weekly became church every day and religious purity with a hatred for sinners, if she hated sinners that much she should've looked in a mirror. My father was the best thing about my childhood, he worked in children's illustration and we had so many great children's books around the apartment to read, and we would go on vacations to see my grandparents in Sweden twice a year. My mother started dating this man Robert Marshall when i was 5, he was just as obsessed with religion as she was, he proclaimed that he forgave her sins and that she was able to bring a child into this world so god must've loved her. My father never liked him and neither did I

It was in the summer when i was 10, my father and I had just returned from Sweden we had spent 3 weeks there visiting my grandparents. He kissed my head at the airport and told me he would see me in 1 week, at that age i thought he was nervous because he had a deadline soon, now i know he was nervous about me. I never saw my father again after that day. A week passed and I had packed my bag excited to go to my dads house, I had been sitting by the front door all day and asked my mom why he wasn't there, she had a cheery look in her eye and told me that a new custody order had been published and that I would be living with her and Robert full time now. I didn't know what to do other than cry so i did.

Now that you know the backstory pre-Gilead now I can tell you a little about my life here.            My Mother became Margaret Marshall, she is a wife, her husband is Commander Marshall, and my name is longer Marja-Anne. Commander Robert changed my name to  Anne Marshall because he liked it more. What a dick. I went to a school for the "Domestic Arts" which is basically just knitting, crochet, and embroidery or as i know them as "The most boring things i could possibly be doing".                                                                                                                                                     I have a few friends but we don't really get to hang out much, and when we do its just knitting, they are much more believing in this than I am anyway, I wouldn't dare talk about my feelings with them though that would put me on the wall maybe. My mother has been trying to have another baby for the past 6 years but they haven't had one yet so now they have a handmaid, her name is OfRobert she is nice, we have two martha's Lily and Sarah they do most of the cooking and cleaning, they are also pretty nice most of the time.

This is my life.

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"Anne get up now! How many times will you fall back asleep, sloth is a sin you know" 

I know that ear piercing voice, its my mother, I can already tell she's in a bad mood if i had to guess their handmaid isn't pregnant so no baby which means pissed off her.

"Yes, im up now happy?" i try to say before yawning but the scowl on my mothers face indicates maybe i should just get dressed.

"Get dressed we are going to the Carter's house later, they are having a baby and I want you to meet their oldest son" she's wearing her nice dress, its like all of her other teal dresses except its slightly shinier.