Raph and Mikey Brotherly Fluff and Comfort Oneshots TMNT 2012

Chapter 37: Guilt

    Moona9076 requested this oneshot.

    It'd been a few months ever since Splinter's death at Shredder's hands. Everyone missed him very much, including Mikey. The only happy thing he could think about was that their dad was at least reunited with his late wife Tang Shen. And that Shredder was finally done for thanks to Leo. But Raph was really feeling the brunt of it; after all, he and April witnessed the whole thing themselves that night, and he was understandably traumatized by it. The hothead was feeling extremely guilty about having done nothing to prevent it.

    At one point, Mikey was passing by after checking up on Leo and Donnie. Opening his door, he saw Raph sitting in a corner of his room on his beanbag, crying into his knees. Sadness creeping in him as well, Mikey entered and placed a hand on his shoulder. One look at him was enough for the youngest to pull his buddy into a hug. Raph returned the embrace with much gratitude, burying his face into his chest to muffle his cries. He was almost crying himself, bur he steeled himself to be strong for his brothers, knowing that Splinter would want them to do so.

    After a while, Raph calmed down enough for him to exit  Mikey's embrace. Mikey smiled sadly. "You miss Dad?" he asked.

    Raph nodded. "I was there when it happened," he said, "and there wasn't even a darn thing I could do to prevent it."

    "You were pretty injured to begin with, Raph," Mikey replied. "Even if you did try, you would've been killed easily. It was Dad's choice to help us that night. So you shouldn't go blaming yourself for it."

    Raph sighed, wiping his face clear of any tear tracks. "You're right," he said. "Dad wouldn't want me blaming myself. Thanks, Mikey."

    Mikey smiled. "Anytime, bro," he said as he left his room with a final pat on the shoulder.
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    For the next several weeks, Mikey checked on every single brother to see how they were doing. And all that time, he didn't bother to cry, wanting to be strong for all of them, especially Raph. But unfortunately, one doesn't stay strong for long. One would eventually end up breaking down. And that's exactly what happened to Mikey.

    Raph was passing by his room one day, feeling a whole lot better after he stopped wallowing in his self-blame for who knows how long and after all those times Mikey checked up on him when he heard sobs coming from behind the door. Peeking in, he saw Mikey standing in the corner (or at least trying to) with tears streaming down his face. His arms and legs were shaking from his sobs; in fact, his whole body was shaking from them. And from the way he was slowly kneeling, he was about seconds from falling to the ground.

    Wanting to repay the favor for helping him, Raph approached him slowly and placed a hand on his shoulder. At the contact, Mikey quickly looked up at him with wide eyes, shocked that he was finally caught crying. Feeling shame creeping in him, he began looking down at the floor only for Raph to cup his face in his hands, his face showing sympathy without having to say anything. Feeling his strength quickly fail him, Mikey just about collapsed as his knees finally buckled, his legs giving out from under him. Acting quickly, Raph wrapped one arm around Mikey's shoulders and slipped the other arm under his knees, scooping him up off the floor and into his arms with movement as fluid and smooth as silk.

    He sat down on the youngest's beanbag, placing Mikey into his lap with his arms still around him. Immediately after, poor Mikey could bare it no longer. He sobbed once again, trying to apologize for not being strong for them, but all that came out of his mouth besides his cries were blubbers, whimpers, and other incoherent sounds. Raph just shushed him gently and rocked him back and forth comfortingly, cradling him as if he were a lost duckling. One hand was cupping the back of his head, pushing it to rest on his plastron while the other was rubbing soothing patterns on his shell. He didn't say anything the whole time. He just sat there and held him, letting everything he wanted to say into that hug.  He heard someone else come in and felt two other pairs of arms wrap around the both of them, but he didn't glance up. He could tell that it was Leo and Donnie right there.

    They all stayed that way for a long while, the only sounds echoing in the room being Mikey's cries. Their hug pretty much said everything without words. Eventually, Mikey finally calmed down enough for him to say something. "I'm sorry that I didn't stay strong for you," he said. "I guess that makes me weak, huh?"

    Raph smiled and held him close. "You're not weak, Mikey," he said. "It was bound to happen at some point. You can't stay strong forever."

    "It's okay to let feelings like this show," Leo added. "Besides, even Dad knew that your walls were gonna come down at some point. We all knew."

    "You shouldn't be scared to let out how you're really feeling," Donnie also added. "It's okay to let it show."

    Mikey sighed with a shudder. "I....I just....,' he tried to say.

    Raph shushed him by kissing his forehead. "You don't need to say anything," he said softly. "We all understand."

    Mikey smiled a little before burying his head in Raph's neck, nuzzling him. Leo and Donnie smiled as well and patted him on the back before leaving, knowing that Raph would take care of the rest. Raph smiled before looking down at Mikey to check on him, only to see that Mikey was yawning. All that crying had left him exhausted. Sleep was pulling at his eyelids as he pressed himself closer to his source of comfort. Smiling, Raph stood up while picking up his little brother and carried him to bed. He laid Mikey down in bed before getting in himself, pulling his baby brother back into his embrace. He knew that the youngest didn't want to sleep alone at times like this. And after what they've all been through as of recently, who could blame him?

    Feeling that his brother was still there, Mikey smiled and snuggled closer, burying his head into his plastron before completely falling asleep. Raph smiled back before peppering his face with feather-light kisses before he closed his own eyes and fell asleep.

    Well, this is it. I won't be writing for a while because I'll be visiting family for Christmas. Thanks for the request, Moona9076.