"Bad" boy (Luke Hemmings fanfic)

11. I'm Okay.

Rose's P.O.V.

I past out shortly after we got to the hospital. I woke up in Luke's car.
I open my eyes, a sudden pain strikes my jaw when I brush my hand against it. "Rose? Are you up?" Luke's next to me, Calum in the back, asleep. I nodded and looked at Luke intently. "The doctor gave you some medication to keep the pain away but she said after this wears off it's going to be sore for a while." He looks so tired.
"I'm glad you're awake, I wanted to ask you, do you want me to take you to my house or yours?" I turn on my side, looking at him. "Probably mine would be best." He nods, his hands are lazy on the wheel...Then I remember everything and I feel my heart rate pick up. My chest feels tight.

We pull up in the apartments parking lot, before getting out and climbing the stairs. We step in, James is at the table drinking coffee. "What time is it?" I ask him, my vision still blurry from sleep. "Nine in the morning. Jesus Christ Rose what happened?"
I tell him. He comes up to me and hugs me. I hug back but I feel hollow. I make my way to my bedroom, and that's when my breath hitches in my throat. Everything is how it was left. And everything is not okay. And I feel my chin quiver. A single tear drops down my cheek. But no more, just the one. I don't want to believe it. But I can't un see it. It's like a projector is shining directly onto the inside of my eyelids every time I shut my eyes. I turn and run out of the room, I see Luke sitting on the couch, just like last night.
But this time he didn't let me pass him, this time he got up and held me. I let myself let go. My tears soaking his shirt. "Let's go home." He says softly. I nod, coming out of his embrace.

Before we leave I pack my backpack with the essentials and a few other things. James seems to understand.

-

Luke's P.O.V.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to comfort her. She keeps saying she's fine but she spends a lot of her days lying in bed. Sometimes she just stares at the wall for hours in silence.
Lately she's been having nightmares. She wakes up screaming, always frantically pushing everything within arm distance to the floor. I come in to make sure she's okay, and she's shaking, terrified. I hold her and try to make things better, but she always holds onto me so tightly, like I'm all that's in between her and her rapist. It breaks my heart, many times I've cried with her from sheer anger for what that fucking woman has done to her. Other times I just can't stand how tight my chest feels, how fragile she is in my arms, how much pain she's in. We both lose it, we usually pass out eventually from pure exhaustion. This has been going on for a while, I just hope I can help in some way...I just want to help the one I love.

- 2 months later

Rose' P.O.V.

Things have been much better. I don't wake up screaming anymore but the nightmares are still vivid and I shake in my sleep. Luke and I are sleeping together now, just in case I do start acting up again. Luke's been so amazing, i don't know how he does it. I've almost slipped into depression a few times now but he keeps pulling me back up. He makes me feel safe and I'm slowly proving to myself that I can do this. During the first few weeks I felt gross, I hated seeing myself naked. I hated seeing myself at all. I didn't tell Luke about this.
Other times I would pick every little thing I hated about myself. I would finish getting dressed after telling myself how horrible my smile is and walk out into the living room and Luke was sitting there, waiting for me so we could start the movie. He had said something that made me laugh. Sometime later he mentioned to me that my smile was beautiful... Then he cuddled up closer to me and kissed my cheek. Slowly I regained a lot of confidence but I'm still pretty insecure. Obviously it's not just going to disappear. Most days I stay in, other than the days I work of course. Being surrounded by books is definitely a nice place to be when I'm feeling a bit sad. 

~

I woke up the next morning, turning over to find Luke gone. I sit up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "Luke?" I called out, my voice groggy as ever. He popped into the room, smiling widely. "We got a gig!" He said, excitedly. I smiled, Luke is so cute when he's happy. "That's great! When is it?" His face goes blank. "I'll go ask Calum." "Oh. Calum's here?" I asked, bringing up the sheets to my chest. "Yeah, Cal and the rest of the boys too. I hope you don't mind, we just got really excited." I laughed. "It's your house Luke." "Right." He replies before kissing my cheek and heading downstairs. I get dressed in my Harry Potter shirt and jeans before also heading downstairs, for some breakfast.

I wonder how the boys are doing. We talked a lot after it happened but I haven't seen any of them this past week, so my face lit up when I saw them all sitting there, laughing together. As I sat down, I was greeted with hugs and warm smiles. And that's when I knew I was going to be okay. Luke looked over at me, reaching his hand out to hold mine. His thumb rubbed against the back of my hand before looking back to the boys. I smiled. Yeah, I'm gonna be okay.

-

Hiya!! Sorry I haven't written in like, four months. I just didn't know where to take the story, I know everyone has different reactions when they are sexually abused and I wanted to be sure this was how Rose was going to handle it. I skipped two months because I know when Rose would wake up in the morning that would be her first thought and the talks she had with people would just be very depressing and in some cases, triggering. I might go back to the past at some point but for now I just want to focus on Rose getting better, and how Luke helps her with that. 

Anyways, update! My boyfriend and I saw 5sos a few days ago! It was -Amazing- 5sos played a great show, they are truly my favorite band to date. So I hope my next update will be much sooner then this one, and you can follow, comment, or favorite if you liked it. Have a great day :)) -Violet