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.Jean Kirstein is the name of the man standing right in front of me. His shirt was off and the look he had in his eyes- he looked hungry for lust He looked at me and down at my lips. My stomach was in a knot god why did he have to look at me that why. I could feel myself getting hotter and hotter by the minute and god I wanted him, the way he looked at me the way he would lick his bottom lip I just wanted him to push me down on the bed and go at me. He was the man I loved and at this moment it seemed like he felt the same way-
"y/n wake up I want to be there early"
I opened my eyes at the sound of my name, it was the sound of Hitch's voice from the other side of the room.
I was having a nap before we went to Eren's house which was where the party was taking place and I didn't even have my outfit ready.
I had to sit up because I could tell that Hitch was already ready and was trying to wake me up hours ago but I was stuck in my sweet old dream which I would have loved to finish if it wasn't for my beloved Hitch that woke me up to go to this stupid party that is being thrown by the fucking dickhead of the school but somehow everyone still loved him. Don't get me wrong Eren god Eren Yager is a good-looking man I would let him do anything to be but still he was my best friend and he never knew how I felt about him.
He always was with someone not like in love or a relationship more like he just always slept around with girl and thing was most of them looked like me not to be self-centered but they ether all looked like Mikasa or me.
I and Mikasa loved each other and when it came to Eren I told her I was happy even though it broke me inside but I wanted two of the people I love to be happy, sadly it didn't last Eren broke up with her for stupid reasons I don't even understand.
A couple of months I had met Jean and we have been getting closer and I'm not about to say that I don't have feelings for him because obviously, I do like I was just having a dream about him, but I still have Eren on my mind and I can't just get over him my feeling for him is really strong they have grown over the years, even if he just sees me as a friend I know even until the day I die I won't stop loving him, he's the guy I grew up with, my first crush, first kiss, first sexual experience and I know the way he feels about me might be as a friend and as someone, he sees as to release stress on. And yes I know that is not healthy and this new year I'm going to try to move on and maybe have a friendship with Jean or more even though I just met him I like him.
I set up on my bed thinking about Eren and how I'm going to get to see him today after 5 months that he ignored me after a drunk night we had together and lost my v-card as he was upset with himself because he said and I quote "I don't fuck with virgins" and on the night of my 21 birthday lost my innocence to my childhood friend and the man I deeply loved but after that day he ghosted me, didn't talk to me, and even changed classes so he wouldn't have to face me, even though that night I felt like he loved me and I believe he felt what I felt that night and it wasn't just a mistake, but until I hear it out of his mouth I'm going to try and forget about him and move on even though that for the past five months- no for the as long as I can remember he's all I have thought about until Jean walked into my life just like that.
I met jean after a party that Sasha had invited me to, the only real friend I had ever had was Eren, and Mikasa, but after the night with Eren, I met this girl Hitch which is the love of my life, like I love her so much that I'm starting to question my sexuality but anywho she led me to Sasha and Connie and they took me to this party that this guy Jean was throwing, and that's where it all happened he shook my hand and through the night comforted me, talked to me, and every time we would talk he made eye contact that made me have butterfly all in my stomach and had me messing up my words around him, it also may be might of been the alcohol but I don't drink that much, but it's probably me just making excuses for how he made me feel and act.
"Hitch do you think Jean will be there" I looked up to see Hitch doing her makeup ready in my room. "I think I asked Sahsh about it she said he'd be there" she looked back at me "aw is my baby finally over that dickhead Eren and falling for Jean," she said with a hint of baby voice in her throat
"Girl shush," I said looking away getting up to pick out my outfit thinking about my love life woke me up god I don't want to think about Eren anymore "Okay!! red or black" I held up to dresses and showed them to Hitch "black duh, oh oh oh and with your red shoes you know this is a New Years party right" she winked at me "omg I forgot, you know what you're going to be my new years kiss, mwah!" I send a kiss to her "MWAH!" she sends a kiss back to me
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as Hitch and I pull into the big ass house where the party was taking place. my phone buzzed in my hand. It was a text from jean
to: y/n
from: Jeany boi
hey so are you at the party yet I don't see you
I smiled at the text message, he was looking for me. I looked up from my phone to look at the house door. there he was, greeting people. Eren, I haven't seen him in months, as you already know this man whore left me all alone that morning and just left
I got out of Hitch's car, I had a black tight dress on, stopping just below my ass where you could see my thighs perfectly, I looked hot. I smiled at myself and the way I looked, and I wasn't going to let him mess it up for me.
I looked down at my shoes as I walked to the door, I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't let it bother me, as I was walking up the stairs, I looked up from my feet and made direct eye contact The moment we made eye contact, his eyes looked me up and down, and I could tell he slightly smiled at the sight of me, as I looked back I made sure it looked like it didn't bother me, but of course, he had an effect on me, my stomach was in a knot and I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks
"Eren," said Hitch like a hello "Hitch," said Eren with a nod, he slightly turned his head towards me "y/n, you look nice" he looked me up and down again "well thank you Ere-"
"y/n I finally found you," I felt an arm around me as I heard a familiar voice "Jean! You're here" I saw him and immediately pulled him into a hug
God he smelled so good, I bury my face into his chest, he was so warm, god I loved his smell, as I pulled away he's eyes met mine and I felt like we were the only two at the moment but that moment ended off quickly as I remembered the jack ass that ghosted me was fight in front of me "hi Eren, it's been a minute" I looked at him as Jean put his hand on my waist, butterflies were in my stomach I loved that way he made me feel and I didn't need Eren, he left me there that morning and didn't even talk to me and not even one sorry from him.
but what you didn't know is that Eren looked at the scene in front of him, and felt like pushing Jean why was he the one to hug you and put his hand around you like it was noting
"Can we go in now, Eren?" I looked at him with the fakest smile I had ever had, he know that I didn't want to talk to him just by the fact I had just made, he knows because that the face I used to make to Mikasa when I was pretending to be friends with her, it wasn't even her fault that she dated eren, now I love Mikasa and her and I are friends now even though its weird but she the one that made me meet Connie and Sash yea I hooked up with both of them, and? They are one of my best friends, after Hitch of course
"ok come one Jeany boi" I took his hand walking into the party, and the moment I stepped in I heard the song 505 by artic monkeys blasting all over the house, or would I say mansion
