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Himeko nervously clutched at the strap on her bag. She walked at a slow and steady pace to her new high school, resisting the urge to fidget with her hair.
She had woken up far too early that day, anxious to make sure she had everything.
Lunch prepared for her and Shōyō? Check.
School supplies? Check.
Phone charged? Check.
Uniform? Check.
She spent ages in the bathroom constantly fixing her hair and makeup. The slightest unnecessary smear made her redo most of her work. Again and again, she repeated the process until she was (finally) satisfied.
She was far too nervous to eat. She felt awful about refusing the breakfast her uncle made her, but the very idea of putting food in her mouth made her want to throw up.
Did she look okay? What if she messed something up? Was something out of place? Would she be okay? What if when she tried to speak to her classmates, she couldn't get a word in and they all stared at her while she squeaked? Would she survive the humiliation?
More than once she found herself wishing she hadn't made such a drastic change in her life.
Even if things were painful, at least she wouldn't have had to worry about these kinds of things before. She didn't care about anyone else before, and she would have had two upper-year students walking to school with her. She could hide behind them any time she wanted to, and they always talked for her.
Things hurt back then, but this was a new kind of pain.
Now she was—
She was—
—forced to do things herself.
The thought made her sick.
She traded familiar pain for new anxiety. Which was better? She couldn't say.
The only thing keeping her from faking sick was the fact that Shōyō was expecting her. As loathe as she was to venture into the scary new world of high school, she could not tolerate the idea of disappointing her only friend there.
So with wobbly knees, Himeko forced herself out of the house.
She knew she wouldn't be able to handle talking to anyone right away so she plugged in her earphones and turned her music up. Even if she wasn't paying attention to whatever was playing, people would be less likely to approach her.
Himeko wanted to make friends—she really did—but oh God not right now please just one thing at a time, please, please, please.
She heard a ding.
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