Amnesia

Photographs

I didn't want to let him go, but I did. I couldn't cling onto him forever. But it was comforting, it made me feel safe.

The rest of the group appears from behind Anne and Kim. They stay their distance before Chris gives them the thumbs up, signaling that I am okay. Then they join us, asking questions that I can barely understand. I'm so dizzy from exhaustion and mentally scarred from what I just encountered that I can barely comprehend anything that's really happening.

"We need to find shelter," Anne announces. "I know it's early in the day, but I don't think Alice can go on for very much longer before passing out. We'll find shelter and do a perimeter search to make sure where we are is safe. Do you guys want to settle down here and clear out the space? We could probably rest in these tents and have guards on duty at all times of the day. We can't risk anything. Not here."

"I vote on staying here for the day," Brenda says quietly, as if she was rude. She's a very soft spoken and sweet-hearted woman, I can assure that. "It's too hot for us to search for a new place to stay."

"And I'm tired of walking," Dawn says, clearly exhausted. She stands on one foot, the other foot wrapped with an ace bandage. She looks worn-out and ready to collapse. Her hair sticks to her forehead with sweat.

"We'll stay here," Anne says. "Anyone object?"

Everyone stands silent.

"I'll take that as a no. Alright, Todd and I will take watch for the day. Chris and Kim can take it for the night."

Jose immediately objects. "No, I'll take watch tonight."

"Jose, you can't always stay up for watch," Kim intervenes.

"Yes, I can." Jose walks towards me, his eyes never leaving mine. I grow uncomfortable, almost backing up. When he gets only a few feet away from me, I begin to notice how dark the bags under his eyes are. The red veins in his eyes are larger, allowing me to see them more visibly. It looks like he hasn't seen his eyelids for sleep for days. His cheeks are sunken in from what looks like a lack of food.

Thinking back on it, I don't usually see him eating when the rest of us do. And he always offers to take the night watches. I question what his reasoning is. He could either be untrustworthy or just actually trying not to be a burden himself and only trying to help. I can't figure this man out.

"I'll look out tonight. I'll make sure that this dumbass doesn't escape again." He stares at me for a moment, his eyes not darting any other direction. Then he lets out a sigh and walks away. I realize that the entire time he was in my face, I was holding my breath. I let it out and then relax my tense arms as I watch Jose walk away towards the tent I came from. He shouts without looking back, "Wake me up after the day shift is over." Then he disappears into the tent.

"Okay," Anne says slowly, still looking after where Jose had disappeared. She then looks at the rest of the group and signals us over to her. "We're not going to wake him up. He hasn't slept much in the past week. He's an asshole, but he's protective of us." She laughs, more to herself than anyone else. "He says he hates us, but he at least tolerates us."

We laugh with her. It feels good to laugh. Though it wasn't like I was laughing to the extreme, as one does with their friends, but it was a nice laugh of what I can best describe as relief. It wasn't a laugh as one that was like yesterday, where I laughed just because I got hit in the face. It wasn't a laugh of losing my insanity and being knowledgeable of it. It was just a normal every day laugh.

"All right," Anne says with a smile still on her face. "Todd and Brenda can clear out the few infected that are left outside the gate. Kim, Dawn, Chris, and Alice can all go try to rest in that tent over there. Kim and Chris, you two need to rest before staying up tonight on watch. Alice and Dawn, you just need sleep."