Excerpts from a relationship that never happened

First Date

We're out on our first date, but he has yet to even hold me, touch me, or even hug me. He seems stiff, almost as though he's nervous.

"What's wrong, Ray?", I ask him, noticing how he's awkwardly avoiding my gaze.

"N-nothing", he says, shuffling his feet and looking everywhere but at me.

I recognize what he's doing. I know because I do the exact same sometimes when I'm nervous and/or don't know how to act around unfamiliar and new people.

"Habibi", I say, causing him to look up sharply, "don't lie to me, I know there's something wrong."

We're at a park in between my place and his, after having had an amazing dinner at a wonderful restaurant.

"Come", I say, careful not to touch him and make him feel more uncomfortable than he already is.

We go and sit down on the grass by the water. For a while, all is silent, as we both gaze at the moonlight's reflection on the water.

He then sighs softly, and starts talking, his gaze still not fully focused on mine. But I can see that he is trying. So I give him as much time as he needs.

"I've never been out with another girl", he says, staring at the water, "not since Amanda, at prom."

I nod, gesturing for him to continue.

"Ever since you left, I was lost. I wasn't myself. I didn't smile as much, and even started snapping at Aashly. I know she probably told you that. I knew that most of my friends who were girls liked me, but I didn't care. None of their opinions mattered. Only yours did, and you were no longer there. You were gone, without me knowing if I'd ever see you again."

My heart starts aching and a sadness wells deep within me at his words.

"I'm so scared. I'm scared if I let myself get close to you, you might find a reason to leave again. To walk out of my life. I want to be the man you think I am, and I don't want you to leave. I want to touch you, hold you, kiss you like I've only ever dreamed about doing. But I need you to show me how. Show me how you want me to hold you, touch you, kiss you. I want to be worthy of your love.", he finishes, a blush slowly creeping across his cheeks, staining his beautiful skin a shade of dark pink.

"Come here, baby", I say softly, beckoning him closer. He looks at me carefully, before moving closer to me.

"Like this?", he says nervously.

I nod, "Now, put your arms around me like this."

I wrap his arms around my waist. He shivers, and unconsciously, pulls me closer.

"Yeah, like that", I say softly, wrapping my arms around his neck, "now, lean in, like this."

I tilt my head and lean into him slowly. He studies me for a second, and then does the same.

"Now, we move closer", I breathe, the space between our lips infinitesimally small.

He makes the first move, and touches his lips to mine. He gasps softly at the feeling, and as if he, deep down, already knows what to do, kisses me.

I kiss him back, my hands threading into his hair, and tugging gently. He hums, as if saying, "More."

We continue like that for a few minutes, before we break apart for air.

His delicate skin is flushed, his lips are slightly puffy from our kissing, and his hair is slightly mussed from where I tugged on it. A stupid smile adorns his face.

"See?", I say softly, "it's not that hard, habibi."

"Can we do that again?", he asks, voice raspy and hoarse with need.

And that's what we do the rest of the night, kissing and exploring with our hands and mouths, whispering words of love and reassurance to each other, vowing to never let the other go.