what the eyes can't see

She walks down the halls with invisible weights tied around her neck pushing her head down afraid to glance up. Occasionally she hears her name which gives her the courage to take a quick peek and give small waves at friends passing by. It isn't that she is shy or introverted because when she is outside of school she is quite the opposite. In school though when she sees him her thoughts cloud up and consume every inch of her brain. His presence alone makes her fix her hair and posture over and over again just in the small chance that he will look at her. She had him but then she didn't and it kills her. He isn't attractive anymore not even in the slightest but she knew him and he knew her so so well that she misses the texts, the looks, the comfort of his embrace. She misses him so damn much but it seems like a crime to even think of him because of all the hurt he caused. Every person in her life didn't approve but that made her want him more. She was blinded and manipulated by the cruel persuasive powers of teenage love. When she isn't with friends she is at home where words constantly pull and pull at her mentality. So instead of dealing with negativity, she isolates herself in the bubble of her room leaving her alone once again clouded with thoughts of him. She can't escape him no matter where she goes. Even if in her mind she makes him up to be a completely different version of who he actually is, he was the one that once filled the brokenness in her heart. He was the one that spent the time on hour long FaceTime calls listening to the smallest simplest parts of her day. He was the one with the sweetest parents that he is a spitting image of. He was the one to brush the hair out of her face while she was asleep. He was the first boy to ever say I love you and mean it. But when the pressure of a difficult situation set in he was the one that made her forced to let go. She was the one to listen to him cry as she questioned why he would ruin everything they had just so he could remain cool to his jackass friends. After only three unbearable days without him, she was the one to text first begging that they could try to work things out. She was the one that wanted him to fight for her back. But he was the one that never would and never did. She loved and cared so so so much to the point where he was her obsession. She became obsessed with the fake reality of a perfect boyfriend who was never perfect or even reached bare minimum at all. Her mom warned her to not give him a piece of herself that wouldn't be given back. But she gave him more than a piece. He let her give him every last bit of herself just to be wasted by both of them physically acting like they aren't effected by the breakup at all. Months later after a failed attempt at a rebound to forget her feelings she is still left with clouded hall thoughts. She is left with mid class daydream fantasies about what could have been. She doesn't bother looking for clues to see if he feels the same way because thoughts and feelings as strong as these are what the eyes can't see.