My Life Shower Thoughts

Part 1(Depression)

TW:Death,suicide mention,Depression (maybe some others too)

When most people start living they never wanna die... when people start dieing they wanna live...But me? No, I am living but I wanna go die and all you can see is the pain in my eyes. When you are on the edge of life or death and you wanna die what are you going to choose? When you wanna live you think of Death as monsters and pain, but how I see Death? It's peaceful and calming, I see it as an escape it's not bad. Life and Death are opposites but I see life as pain and hell, while Death is freedom and peaceful. People fear death because.. lets be honest Death is the real truth of Life we all die someday weather it's by chance or by choice. People ask me: "What does life and Death mean to you?" I'll always have the same answer; "Life is an obstacle, and those obstacles can either be your best friend, or your worst enemy no matter what you do you'll never be able to escape it unless you try or give up and die. Now Death on the other hand I see it different I see it as an escape, I see it how most people see life; free and peaceful but, when you see the real world and realize 'life' isn't all rainbows and sunshine, yes there are good times, but NOTHING lasts forever, NOTHING. To me Death is not painful its the truth and life is the "Beautiful" lie. So, the difference between Life and Death is: life is the 'Beautiful lie' and Death is the 'Painful truth'" I got asked to define 'Depression' and in the moment I just froze not knowing what to say to that person but now that I think about it, I wish I got the chance to say; " Depression is not "a phase" and never will be, it's a shape-shifter, one day I'll be calm and fine and the next I could feel like I wanna die. It takes so much energy I just don't even want to get out of bed or walk out of the door. No one can tell what I'm feeling I've learned to how to hide everything. Depression is invisible you can't see it, but it's always there. It causes so much damage that nobody knows about it" Someone very special to meOnce said, "Depression isn't just about being sad sometimes its not even knowing how you're feeling and it's wondering why you're living in a world where people can only assume depression makes you crazy but you know what's really crazy? Being surrounded by people who choose to think they understand they say they get it if you're crying you're broken but people fail to notice the most hurt look the strongest they really be the ones trying to lend YOU a hand so be nice because you never know who's going through it and be kind because words really do hit and be aware of those you love may need you more than they show be cautious because you just never know and one day it'll be too late because you thought depression meant just being sad and everything is actually "okay" it was more serious than that." Depression IS NOT just "a phase" This is REAL and not many people believe it's more than just being "sad".

I don't really know if I am going to put more things on here I might might not just depends if anything comes to mind but with me, it probably will