Release

Seven

Here I go, beginning again.
I don't really talk to anyone anymore, even more than before. It's come to the point of where I ignore people at times, which has gone on for a while now. Maybe I just don't care to, yet at the same time my loneliness is of concern. I think I'm hopeless. Hopeless about a lot of things. This world fucking sucks. I was so excited before, to maybe make a change, or to find out what life is all about. My father called me through the house phone less than a week ago. He ended up crying, and telling me to talk to him more often. I don't think I will. At this point I don't want anything to do with this family. He thinks that I hate him, but I don't, and I won't ever. There are so many factors in life, where no one can be blamed on their own, for you must be thankful for all that you can blame. It's all together, everything is in sync, like moving water, where it's the water that moves mountains, and the mountains move the water, that bends the air, that bends the light from the sun. Your pain is my pain. Your love is my love. Mhmm, that's interesting how I associate pain with sadness. Maybe that's all it is, just pain. If it doesn't hurt, what's there to be sad about? There's so much violence. The world has never been so violent, ever. We're at it's peak, as I'm sure it'll continue to rise. Peak Suicide rates. Peak gun violence. Peak aggressive protests from both sides, whether it be physical or verbal. It's still violent. I have no negative association with one's skin colour. I dislike everyone equally. They're all ignorant. They're all selfish. They're all so blind to what truly matters. That's my opinion though. It's all about money, and if you don't realize that, I'd hope that you do. Control, for power, for money. Most people who want to make a difference, find themselves stuck, and then you'll have people telling the people who are stuck, how to make it big, but these people are lucky. If luck were to be converted into the physical, it'd have to do with all infinite possibilities somehow aligning for you. It doesn't happen to many people, but in the world of social media, it could seem like everyone is famous, but you, as it's shoved down our throats. Listening to the same people, following the same people. It's luck. Time, and place, that's all it is. The odds, are against most. Think about someone born in what we'd call a 3rd world country. How many of them can dream about, "making it" in this world. Realize how fucking lucky you are to not be starving. Realize how lucky you are to not worry for your life constantly. To be so numb of the sound of bombs, where you are almost near calm. To have passively accepted death even before your life has begun. Instead, we follow our idols like gods as we stuff our faces with flashing misery, where you only find your ego, or pity of yourself in the mirror. To feel so important, or like nothing at all, yet we all have the greatest gift.
I just don't understand why we fuss so much.
Just breathe.
Stop yelling.