Nights in Wartwood were a little different from those in Toad Tower. Back then, emptiness lying in the air, and her life, was filled by laughs, noises or snoring of sleeping soldiers. she knew – that wherever she wouldn't go – she wasn't alone. There always was someone. But Wartwood was... quiet. It wasn't a total silence, but an ordinary, calm night filled with the sound of crickets and the smell of straw. It didn't exactly bother her – she actually found it strangely comforting. Problem was her own loneliness, which she realized by the absence of human elements in sounds around her. An unbearable feeling of guilt was haunting her so much she couldn't sleep and it didn't matter how tired she was.
It has been a couple of days since the King's robots attacked and the town called Sasha a hero, which she still didn't feel good about. She still considered the words that came out of her mouth to be the truth.
She wasn't a hero. She was a fraud.
Sometimes, when she managed to sleep, nightmares filled her mind like poisonous wine. When she woke up in the darkness, she thought that her own hands were covered in blood and she really needed a moment to realize that it was only guilt's illusions.
Leaning against the snail's shell and looking at the holey barn's roof, a bitter conclusion came to her mind on its own.
"Looks like none of us succeeded in finding her own happiness, doesn't it?" she mumbled, kind to herself, kind of to the girls – as if they were still with her.
Nobody answered her.
Marcy was dead. Anne, if she did come back home, needed to face life on Earth. The King was planning an invasion. Sasha wanted everything and ended up with nothing.
Her body was begging for a bit of rest but she couldn't do that. Sleep wasn't coming but guilt was staying. She didn't want to close her eyes yet she tried.
You are a horrible person and I am done with being friends with you!
I'm sorry... for everything.
She opened her eyes. Grime surely wouldn't be happy to see that she didn't sleep all night again, but what was she supposed to do? Tell him that remorse wasn't allowing her to sleep? She now really wished that somebody had taught her how to deal with (all) that. If something was wrong she just had to do it on her own. And if she failed at that she'd just pour her emotions into fighting. Mostly it was helping but now Sasha wasn't able to do that. She wasn't thinking that would help her anyway.
She was simply a terrible person and a fraud. Maybe she finally got what she deserved, but Marcy and Anne weren't guilty, no matter how angry she was at them.
She sighed and she stood up. Neither of the snails woke up, still peacefully sleeping. She kind of envied them. She looked at them for a moment before leaving the barn and walking ahead.
Night greeted her with a calm freeze. Even though it was almost half of the year since she got here, Sasha still wasn't used to the absence of city noises. She'd spend many evenings at her home on the balcony, hearing the purring of cars, but now...
Now she wasn't home. She wondered if she has ever been truly. For some reason it reminded her about that one saying.
"Home's where the heart is" Her words dragged into the night. It was a funny thought, as if a fallen hero had just realized that from the very beginning, they were a villain.
She looked at the sky. It was clearer than in Los Angeles. She didn't know her own sky, not mentioning foregein, but no matter the world – the stars always were a reminder of man's insignificance. They simultaneously showed the past and the future when, in fact, neither exists.
