4 ( First Day Together )

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Y/N POV

It's been a week since the car accident, I decide that it's time to go back to school. Today is also the day Dahyun get's discharged, so we'll definitely pick her up. 

I quickly eat my breakfast with the others and we take turns taking a bath. There are only two bathrooms here and I guess it's split up to the maknae's and unnie's. I go with the older side since I am the oldest out of all of them. I go first since I finished eating first.

I enter the bathroom and it feels really weird taking a bath in someone else's bathroom. I quickly take a bath, but then I realize that I forgot to bring my towel with me.

"IS ANYONE THERE?" I screamed hoping someone was waiting outside.

"Y/N oppa? What's wrong?" I heard, I think Tzuyu answered.

"I forgot my towel. It's in my room. On top of drawer with shirts" I said. Shit, why did I put my towel  on top of the drawer where I kept Nayeon's underwe--

"Y/N oppa! Is it the blue one?" she asked. Sounds like she didn't check inside the drawer, thankfully.

"Yes, just leave it outside of the door knob. I'll just get it myself". I finished up my shower and went outside dripping wet. I took my towel and immediately dry myself.  I really need to relocate my valuables.

I put my clothes on and get out of the bathroom. Nayeon was waiting for my outside.

"Done? I'll use the shower now," she said. I nod and look at what she's holding. She's holding her school uniform and as well as her towel.  Suddenly, an idea flew into my head.

'What if I take the underwear that she's going to wear? She'll ask for me to get her one from her drawer and I could steal another.' I thought to myself.

What the actual fuck. Why did that thought go into my head though. 'No, I refuse. GIVE THE UNDERWEAR BACK Y/N' I said to myself.

"Nayeon! You dropped your underwear" I called. She turned around and immediately took it from me. She was clearly blushing and she ran inside the bathroom out of embarrassment. Why does my body, still do this? Why do I not have full control of myself? I don't want to recognize myself as a pervert.

I wait downstairs and see the others already prepared to leave. We were only waiting for Momo to finish. 

"Y/N oppa, isn't it crazy that we go to the same school?" Chaeyoung asked me while running towards me.

"Yeah, but it makes sense since Dahyun is my sister. I'm excited to pick her up from the hospital today". 

Momo then went downstairs and we left for school. We were all in one van and I sat near the front beside Nayeon and Tzuyu. I'm not close with anyone so far aside from Nayeon, Chaeyoung and I guess Dahyun. 

The ride is oddly quiet. I would usually expect them to be chaotic when they're together. I could only hear the others whispering, but I imagined that they would screaming at each other. Music also blasted through the speakers which made their conversations inaudible.

"Nayeon, is it always this awkward?" I ask. 

"No, I guess they're not used to you being here" she replied. Okay, so it's my fault.  I don't know how to tell them that I'm fine with them being rowdy.

"Alright, but I hope I can get close with the other as well, so it wouldn't be this awkward all the time".  She just laughs which makes Tzuyu look at us. Nayeon is definitely adorable. Bias check, still loyal.

We arrive at the school and we all go our separate ways to our class. Nayeon though, we haven't separated yet. We're in the same grade level, but it's still weird that we're going down the same path. I reached the front of my classroom and I say goodbye to Nayeon, until we both enter the same section. Everyone was staring at us since we entered together and that we even talked.

I could hear gossips and murmuring within the class. "Y/N just spoke to Nayeon. He never talks to anyone"., "Are they close?" "Isn't Y/N's sister Dahyun" were some of the things I heard upon entering. Sadly, Nayeon and I aren't sitting together, but it's fine. I doubt she'll talk to anyone else anyway.

Why do I care though? It's not like I don't want her to talk to someone else.

Class ended and I didn't listen at all. I spent most of the day stealing glances at Nayeon. She was just listening and taking down notes. Eventually my seatmates would notice me, they asked if I liked Nayeon. I didn't answer them, but I'm pretty sure I don't.  

I get up from my chair while packing my things. I can't wait to meet my sister. I wonder if we're as close as before. I don't remember anything about her being Dahyun though so maybe our memories would different.

"Y/N oppa, let's go" Nayeon called. Did she really just do that? Does she not know that the entire class is still here?

As expected, those words made everyone look at us. They were gossiping about us again. I don't know if she wanted to get attention or if she's just stupid. 

I just follow her outside while she leaned her head on my shoulder. Is she serious though? This is way too fast. Does she like me? No, she does this regularly with her member right? RIGHT?

I like this feeling though. Making everyone jealous is fun. Seeing people want to be me feels amazing. 

We walk all the way back to the van and we're on our way to pick Dahyun up.

I can't wait anymore. I don't know I really want to see her. I never felt this way for anyone in my family.

Eventually, we arrive at the hospital. The girls put masks on to avoid getting attention.

"Picking up Kim Dahyun," I said to the nurse in the lobby. We followed her directions and eventually reach Dahyun's room. She was sitting down on the bed waiting for us.

"Dahyun!" Sana exclaimed as she ran to her and hugged her.

Everyone then followed and hugged her, except me. It's not that I don't love her. It's that I don't love her enough. My sister, as I remember her, was always annoying me, but I knew she did it because she loved me. I wonder if she acts the same even until now.

I snap out of my thought as someone calls me. 

"Y/N oppa, I'm glad you're okay" Dahyun says as she hugs me. This triggered something in me. I now remember how my sister would randomly ask for hugs and I would decline out of frustration. For some reason though, I can't decline her. I hug her back instead, willingly. 

Why am I like this? Have I changed? Tears are starting to form and I can't stop them. 

I can't stop myself from crying and hugging her. I don't regret this though. I want to stay like this. I want to listen to my body more often. It's not like I have a choice though.

"Y/N oppa, how's mom and dad?" she asks. I get control of my body again and my tears stop falling.

"Dad's gone, Mom is asleep, and she will take time before recovering" I said.

"You should really open your heart. Dad was strict and abusive yes, but you should look at the bigger picture, he was doing it for you. Mom and I knew that which is why we didn't hate him"

I didn't reply and just walk out.

I lean by the wall while waiting for us to leave. Nayeon comes outside though and talks to me.

"Y/N, I'm sorry. I didn't know what happened to you" she said.

"Don't mention it. I'm not willing to talk about them. I just want to live my life right now" I replied.

"But, you can't love unless you learn to forgive" she says.

I look at her with confusion. Why does she care if I learn to love or not. I can't kill myself anyway, it's not like I need to love myself. 

"Why should I care about love? Love doesn't make the world go round" I reply. She just pouts at me and crosses her arms. 

Is she doing aegyo again? Does she think aegyo will convince me to love? 

"Stop, you're embarrassing yourself" I say as the other members get out of the room.

We head back home after a busy day. I want to talk to Dahyun about the past though. I would be lying if I say that I don't want to learn to love. I do believe love makes the world go round. It's the reason I tried so many times to kill myself. My world stopped moving because of the absence of love. 

This doesn't make sense though. Why do I want to learn love now? Why did I not want to learn it before even though I knew it was what I needed?



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