Thereafter

Chapter 20

I open my eyes and I see the beautiful sight of Jesus next to me. He has this very low snore when he's into deep sleep, it's very cute. Today is Saturday, I've been staying at Jesus house the whole week. I haven't been home since the incident of Monday night, but I'm going to have to go back home at one point to face my father. He's trying so it's my turn to suck it up and try too.

It felt good to be away from Ethan. It gave me some time to think without seeing him, I made a promise to Jesus and he's keeping his... I hope, so I owe it to him to keep my promise, even though I already broke it by telling Ethan I love him too, but that was my last slip up. From now on I'm devoted to Jesus, Ethan's going to have to understand. I think he understood because I've been ignoring his text messages all week.

I've been preparing myself all week mentally to go back home to confront my father. I think I'm ready! The only thing that's been really tough on me was and still is the drugs, yes me and Jesus have been smoking weed but that's it, when I called my dealer for some weed I bought 1 gram of cocaine and it's still hiding my bag, I never got the chance to take it because I'm literally 24/7 with Jesus.

Apart from that my week was good, I went to school, then back here at Jesus's house, watched some tv, smoked some weed, etc... but on Wednesday night me and Jesus went out at this diner across town and had a double date with one of his friend from school Miguel who has short brown hair with brown eyes, chubby, he was an amazing guy and his girlfriend Luisa who had blond hair with green hazel eye, chubby, she was such a sweetheart. They were very nice, Luisa gave me her number and we made plans to hang out tomorrow.

I get up and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I look at myself and I'm wearing Jesus clothes again, it's time I go home and get back to wearing my own clothes instead of wearing Jesus's clothes, school clothes and to be honest I miss my bed. Once done with my teeth, I take a face cloth and wash my face. I put the cloth in the dirty towel hamper and go back to his room.

He's still sleeping. If I'm going home today, I need something in my system. I need my "courage powder" and now's the perfect time Jesus is sleeping. I go in my school bag, in the small pocket on the side, take the baggie of cocaine, take my little straw and snort it directly from the baggie. Snorting a bit too much but it's ok, it's going to give me a bigger buzz. I get startled by Jesus's voice.

     "Good morning angel! What are you doing?" He says, looking in my direction.
     "Good morning! Oh, nothing. I was just checking my agenda to make sure I didn't forget any homework" I lie, shoving the baggie and straw back in the small pocket and rub my nose before turning around to look at him.
     "How did you sleep?" He asks, getting up to sit down in bed.
     "Good and you?" I ask, smiling making my way to his bed and sitting down.
     "Good! Your smiley this morning" he says, grabbing my hand.
     "Yes I feel good" I answer with the same smile.
     "I'm glad you're happy being here. Seeing you happy makes me happy" he smiles.
     "Jesus I want to talk to you about something" I say, rubbing his thumb with mine as we're holding hands.
     "What's up" he stiffens up.
     "I'm going to go back home today. I'm ready to talk to my dad" I tell him and he instantly removes his hands from mine.
     "Ok" is the only thing he says.
     "What's wrong?" I ask, confused by his reaction. What did I do?
     "Nothing. I thought you were happy here with me" he looks down at his hands.
     "I am! But I have a family and want to be home with them too, I miss my brother and my grandmother...... I haven't seen them in a week" I answer honestly.

I mentioned nothing about Ethan because I don't want to put any ideas in his head, and honestly I need time for myself too, we go to school together, we shower together, we eat together, we're in the same classes...... We are always together, don't get me wrong I love being with him, it's just I need time to breathe alone too.