Our Felonious Voices (Crossroads Band Series #1)

Kabanata 2

Note: OFV was previously placed on hold and unpublished a year ago for specific reasons. Consider the following chapters as a revision of the previously published first parts of the novel. Thank you.

***

KABANATA 2

I kissed the innermost realities of loneliness at a very young age, in some of my youth's least memorable days.

"Remedy?"

And she was the catalyst for all of those days.

Halos napaigtad ako sa narinig na pagtawag. I quickly hid my journal, which I had been writing in before she arrived. I tucked it beneath my pillows and buried it under my covers. Saka pa lamang ako nagmadaling kumilos pababa ng kama nang masigurong nakatago iyon nang maayos.

When my footsteps ate the gaps towards the doorway, my long silk nighties touched my fur-coated floor. At pagkabukas ko ng pinto, ang lumuluhang mukha ni Mama ang sumalubong sa akin.

"R-Remedy, can I come in?" Her soulful eyes wandered inside my room as she grunted.

Napakurap-kurap ako at hindi agad narehistro sa isip ang narinig kay Mama. Even though we are a family, the number of times she has been in my room can only be counted on my fingers. I'm not sure what was the reason for it before, but I do know the story behind her frequent visits to my room these past few days.

"I-I really need you, my Remedy..."

I struggled to swallow the knot in my throat and found myself raking my nails into the doorknob of my room.

Ayaw ko sana pero...

As soon as my eyes landed on her, tears welled up in her eyes. I saw her holding her thin arms beneath her silk nightgown, and I knew she needed a place of refuge and someone to rely on once again.

"O-Of course, Mom, you can come in..." I muttered heavily, pushing myself to open the door wide for her.

"Thank you, hija."

Hindi nawala ang mga mata ko sa katawan ni Mama magmula pa nang pumasok ito sa loob ng kwarto ko at naupo sa dulo ng aking kama. Kaagad na nag-init ang mga pisngi ko nang naalala na itinago ko ang journal sa kama ko.

Kung ano ang natutunan ko sa Spain ay iyon ay ang magaling na itago ang lahat ng bagay... kahit na sa sino mang malapit sa puso ko.

I shifted my weight and quickly shut the door before approaching her.

"What happened, Mom?" marahan kong sinabi bago mabilis na pinasadahan ang mga unan.

"The u-usual, hija..." her voice shattered. "W-Whenever I question your father about it, he always lies..."

Naamoy ko agad ang pamilyar na alak sa kaniya. She's drinking again, every night, like her usual self back when we were still in Spain.. Huminga ako nang malalim at naibagsak ang mga balikat.

Naaalala ko pa nang bata ako ay minsan lang kami makapag-usap ni Mama. And, even at such a young age, I understand that she tends to prefer to be with other children and girls rather than with me. Dahil nasa pulitika si Papa at isang governor ng Santa Monica sa loob ng ilang taon, kinakailangan siya sa tabi ng kaniyang asawa palagi. At naiintindihan ko ang lahat ng iyon.

"Hindi na siya nagbago. Kahit pa umiyak at lumuhod na ako sa harapan niya para magsabi siya ng totoo sa'kin, tinatago pa rin niya ang totoo sa akin!" she cried even more.

I leaned out to her, licking my lips. She grabbed my shoulders and drew me in for a hug. Agad kong naramdaman ang pamamasa ng balikat ko dahil sa mga luha ni Mama.