Fizah

مہر|Mehr

"Dil jalane ki baat kartey ho, aashiyana ki baat kartey ho
Saari duniya ke ranj-o-gham dekar, muskurane ki baat kartey ho."
-Javed Qureshi.

Zahid's heart chanted prayers for her repeatedly as he slowly rolled back and forth in his chair. The meeting was intensifying and he had nothing more to say as he had already made his decision. Nothing was to change. He knew what he wanted, how and when he wanted. His father was on the verge of drowning his company but he was seeking for her safety. His soul was aching in discomfort and his heart was burning like someone just set it on flames. The text he received from his father was unnervingly cold and inhumane. How did he think he saw through the man to plan something when the man was only in layers. Layers after layers.

And how was Zahid so different from his father? He was also the same, only he quit playing with the life of people that surrounded him for his own matters. He, too, was nothing different. He, too, did hide behind a number of layers. Layers of pain, layers of hatred, layers of secrets, layers of what he showed himself to be to the world and in the layers of so much more, he was lost. The weight of the layers he was carrying might even kill Zahid– so much that he didn't know who he was anymore. Whose fault was it? His or his father's? He couldn't tell.

All he wanted to melt down in someone's heart– in her heart so she could fill him in the jars of her soul and so he could see from her eyes. Even in the end, he didn't tell her what she meant to him and he was made to carry her on his shoulder, he couldn't tell her that he saw himself in her eyes and that she completed him. But the agony? She was one of those who didn't keep their promise to him. She said she would be with him at every step but where was she when he needed her the most. The irreversible damage that was caused by his family. Now that he thought about it, he was angry at everyone. He was angry at his father for creating the mess. He was angry at his mother for not taking a stand for Farasha, Manahil and him and for herself. He was angry at Farasha and Manahil for leaving him alone. He was angry at himself because he let it all happen and couldn't do anything to prevent it. Perhaps, that's why they called destiny inevitable and stronger than love ever was.

"Stop zoning out or get the fuck out." Saleh groaned as he put both his elbows on the desk, boring a hole in Zahid's forehead.

"It is already decided, why the hell are you making it a big deal?"

"That's because it is," Saleh glared, "Instead of focusing on the allegation, you went for Sarfaraz's throat and bought his company.. did you think it will make a good impact on the case?" 

"Shayad?" He answered, zoning out.

"Don't play dumb, Zahid. You clearly know what it would mean and you still went for it.. is it just your stupidity or do you want to prove something?"

Prove? Like he had anything left to prove to the world.

"Not really," He said, wheeling closer to the desk and rested his elbows on it. "I made copies of the evidence, just in case." He said, looking at Saleh who had still not recovered and they knew Zahid wasn't going to answer.

His friends had to wear their heart in their sleeves whenever he acted upon something as he never cared about the consequences, he did as he pleased and what earned him and his company money and fame but nothing ever went wrong except a couple of times. Zahid preferred to plan it out before he executed and had always had a backup plan but this behavior made his friends anxious. He never answered. He wouldn't scream even if he had things clouding his mind. He wouldn't say a word.

"Appreciated-" Saleh was going to say more but a call from his firm cut him off midway. Fizah and Ehan looked at each other as if they had seen a ghost, blinking eyes like two freaking toddlers.