Breakable Heaven

Chapter 5

I stare at Martha. 

"No. No, you're misunderstanding. Karlie is just jealous that she doesn't have a connection with Josh anymore and-" I begin again, but Martha cuts me off. 

"Taylor, call it what you want, but Karlie was jealous that Harry was with you. I mean, I've heard the way she talks about you... I've seen the way she looks at you. I didn't have any reason to think she thought of you as more than a friend but now?" I pull my stare from Martha and glance over at Karlie once again. The tall model is now chatting with Tree, gently hugging my publicist and laughing about something that probably concerns me. 

"You should talk to her," Martha says softly, watching my stare intently. I shake my head. 

"That's ridiculous. I'm not going to talk to her based on rumors I don't know to be true," I explain, turning my attention back to Martha. At this point, I'm seeing double. I'm almost not entirely sure this conversation is even happening anymore. I glance down at my empty cocktail glass, noting that I've had one too many. 

"I- I have to go," I spit out hurriedly. I beeline for the bathroom, waiting to make sure the stalls were clear before I broke into sobs. I'm not sure what causes me to break down, maybe everything happening at once. It had been building up for weeks, the public pressure to be 'good' and find a long-lasting relationship along with the recent issues between Karlie and me. A public event was too much for me tonight... Karlie was too much for me tonight.

I lean on the bathroom counter and stare into the mirror, unable to process any of my thoughts. Everything feels like it's spinning out of control and I just want it to... stop. I just want to freeze time and allow myself the chance to breathe for once. I sigh and face away from the bathroom mirror, pulling my phone from my bag and opening iMessage.

Me: when will you be in NY next? or LA? i can make either work. i need a girls night ASAP.

Selena: it's like you read my mind!!!! I'm in LA right now for the next few days. Tmro?

Me: pleaseeeee

Selena: done deal. i finish a shoot at 3pm. come over whenever.

I smile at my phone and let out a sigh of relief. Much of my free time had been taken up by Karlie as of recently that I haven't had time for any of my other friends. Not that there were many... I keep a pretty close-knit group these days. I just needed someone to talk to about everything, especially about Karlie. The bathroom door swings open, breaking me out of my thoughts. I look up and see Karlie standing at the entryway, almost on queue. She must have watched me run in here. Her face drops at the sight of my sadness and I quickly wipe the tears from my cheeks, not wanting the model to see me this way. 

"Taylor, hun what's going on?" Karlie coo's, taking a step closer to me. I shake my head and look at the floor, unable to make eye contact with the model. I want to respond but I know my voice will break with sobs. Karlie waits in silence as if she knows that her saying one more word will push me over the edge. I grasp onto the bathroom counter and hang my head, holding my body up with my arms, breathing slowly and deeply to avoid further commotion. 

"Can we please talk?" Karlie asks cautiously in almost a whisper. I continue my breathwork before regaining my composure and standing upright to face the model before me. 

"Why were you so mad that night, Karlie?" I ask the younger girl cautiously. Her face wrinkles in confusion. She takes a minute to respond. 

"Uhm- I- I don't know, I was jealous that you had this connection with an old fling that I didn't have with my boyfriend and-" I cut her off before she continues to ramble.