The Dairy of Selfishness

Entry Six

There are so many things I could pick apart about him.

He is a selfish being.

But we all are in a sense.

People that know me, and him, and see how he is to me, a few have spoken up to me, and said how he is terrible to me, and how I deserve much better.

Part of me agrees with them, but then I think of all of the good times we shared.

We would stay up till 6 am smoking weed and hanging out, either playing video games, or laughing at fails on YouTube, we used to have so much fun, we would tickle, laugh and giggle at each other for hours, our tummies would hurt.

We had lots of good times.

He showed me lots of things about the world, about life, about honesty, integrity, and loyalty.

Although I've never cheated on him, and he technically hasn't cheated on me either, we have been together through thick and thin, and that is what has taught me loyalty, the, "we're not blood but we're family" type of loyalty.

He taught me that sometimes you can choose your family. And you can choose who is surrounding you, and if you choose the right crowd, life will be pretty great.

But I soon discovered, life isn't always great.

And feeling controlled isn't great.

Feeling like you're giving you're all, and it's belittled by those simple words.."who are you messaging?" Or "what are you doing?" Or "why do you hate me?" Or "why are you mad?"
Or "be good."

Or all of the tedious and pretentious little rules.

Don't get a ride with anyone but females.

Don't have any males in your phone except coworkers.

Don't have social media.

Don't hang out with dudes alone.

Like I understand having rules inside a relationship, but making your rules so specific, like come on dude.

Here's my rules : Don't break my heart. Don't lie. Don't betray me.

Like having every single thing on there that is a deal breaker is just too much. It gets confusing...hard to remember.

What kind of relationship rules do you and your S/O have? IF ANY.