The Mask I Wear

A Calming Touch

            The next morning, when Mirabel woke up there was no sign Dolores had ever even been in the nursery with her. As she went downstairs to begin setting the table for breakfast, she retraced her steps down the long staircase Casita had left up from the night before, wondering if it was all just a fever dream. She blinked, seeing Isabela winding back up the staircase, a rag in her hand, eyes shifting, looking very much like a cat who was secretly slinking around their home. 

"Isa?" she whispered her eldest sister's name in surprise. Sudden anxiety welling up within her when she noticed the color staining the pale rag, Mirabel began to softly hyperventilate as she realized she had left a telling trail in her haze.

"It's alright Mira." Isabela almost cooed as she attempted to calm her, "It's alright, I cleaned the mess. Don't worry." calmingly she stroked her sister's shoulder. "Breathe."

"I-you did?" Her confusion was evident to her big sister.

"Uh-Huh. I just finished." she hummed, still stroking her shoulder. It was a comforting motion Mirabel hadn't felt from her older sister in years, not since she was denied her door and her gift. It was as though Abuela didn't want her giftedness to taint her perfect golden sister; or anyone else for that matter. "Dolores came to me after you fell asleep. You have nothing to worry about Mira. No mess." A calming lavender smell filled her nose as Isabela bloomed a crown atop her little sister's head. "Sit next to Luisa." she instructed her, "I'll follow you back down in just a moment. Okay?" Only when Mirabel slowly nodded did Isabela leave her on the stairs.

Entering the dining room, ready to fetch the plates she saw Luisa holding a mountain of dishes, all the ones she had come to fetch. "I got this!" she winked at her confidently, "You go ahead and sit-down Mira!"

"Okay...?" she tilted her head with a frown before accepting the help her sisters were offering her. It wasn't until she sat down in her place that she wondered just how come Dolores had fetched Isabela to clean up blood. And what about Luisa, she wondered. Why was she doing Mirabel's job? Luisa made quick work of the task, under Mirabel's watchful eye, Casita moving things when Mirabel whispered the word, straightening a plate here, adjusting a fork there, minor things really but Mirabel was all about having perfection for Abuela.

Dolores slid into the room then, unnoticed as usual in her quiet way. They only noticed when she placed a hand on both of the girls' shoulders. "Abuela and the family are on their way. Mira, why don't you go check on Tia Julieta?" she urged, and Mira nodded mutely but with a smile. Her mother always appreciated seeing Mirabel come to help her and Casita bring out her delicious food at mealtimes.

"Do you need help, mama?" she squeaked, poking her head into the kitchen, wondering if her mother knew about last night as well, or if it was just the other grandkids.

"Mira sweetheart, that would be wonderful." her mother gave her a tired smile. Not for the first time she wished she had a gift that could ease her mother's burdens. It faltered when she stepped up next to her and she was met with a frown. "Mirabel are you alright?" her mother peered at her with concern etching her normally weary but kind features. A hand cupped her cheek and she tried to get her child to meet her eyes.

"I'm fine, Mama." she tried to say, not sure she would believe her if looked up. "Really." Desperately she wanted to tell her all about how Abuela made her feel last night, tell her all about the cracks and the dangers she saw, the thread and the blood and Dolores keeping her together while she absolutely broke down screaming and crying into the rag crushed between her teeth. But when she finally looked up to meet her mother's eyes, all she could see was the tiredness that had dug itself so deep into Julieta Madrigal that it had become her natural state of being. There was never a true moment's rest for the healer, she was constantly stuck inside this kitchen, baking and baking and baking at all hours, never able to build up a supply. The townspeople had forgotten how to be cautious, just trusting that she would always have food available the second that they needed it. Seeing this kept Mirabel from spilling all the secrets of last night. She wouldn't add to her mother's burden, she wouldn't, she wouldn't, she wouldn't.

She felt like she was swallowing her own tongue as she lied to her mother for the second time that morning. "It's fine, really mama, I just- I didn't sleep real well last night." Julieta searched her daughters' eyes, and though she didn't believe her one bit, she decided to let it go, hoping her daughter would tell her when she was ready. With a sigh she brushed her thumb across her cheek. "Mira, honey. Maybe you should take a nap after breakfast. You're a growing girl, you need your rest."

"Really, I'll be okay. I just need some coffee and I'll be good as new! Promise!" She forced a smile and her mother sighed again. "If you're sure nothing is wrong..." she paused, "Take the coffee out to the table and pour some for your Abuela. Casita and I will handle the rest."

"Okay." Mirabel murmured, accepting the jugs of coffee from her mother she scurried back just in time to see the rest of her magical family taking their seats. Setting one jug of coffee in the middle of the table for Casita to pour, she took the other one and readied a cup for Abuela, who only spared her a glance when she offered the cup and saucer to her. Knowing she was dismissed, she moved to join her sisters where they had kept a seat open for her.

Under the table, Luisa gently took her hand, rubbing her thumb gently across it. Next to her Isa eyed the lavender crown and tried adding some Jasmine. Abuela shot her a look which she didn't flinch at, absorbed enough in her task. "I'm testing some ideas for flower crowns. Easier when I can see it all together." she waved off the scrutiny on them with the two sentences.

"Dolores?" she turned, "Any news from the Guzman family? Do we have a date?" The sharp eyes felt like daggers on Dolores's heart, and her mouth felt like it was filled with sand, but she forced an answer anyway.

"Yes Abuela." she murmured in her quiet voice. "Tonight." she flinched, "Around seven?" she glanced at her cousin sitting right next to her, and her heart dropped knowing she should tell her the other thing she heard. She tried to be nonchalant as she added, "He wants five babies." Isabela in her extreme surprise had flowers pop up in her hair sporadically and she stared wide eyed and horrified at her.

"Splendid!" Abuela actually smiled, having heard her. "Our family will only continue to grow!" It was obvious she hadn't noticed Isabela's obvious discomfort yet, far too pleased. Dolores poked her in the back, reminding her that she needed to sit up straight for Abuela. Quickly she shook the flowers from her hair as she straightened her shoulders and cleared her face after sparing a grateful glance to her cousin.

Each one of them took a deep breath.

They would get through today. They would get through today. They would get through today.