May We Meet Again

A life time

   In your lifetime, there will always be a person that you connect with on a deeper level, one that runs so deep that your souls will intertwine. Forever you might search for them in the next lifetime but is that not what we all do? We search for the flame that once fired our love in a previous life. Will you ever find it? Who knows? There are so many questions I had for this but never did I expect to try and find him again. I found myself falling, searching, all for him.

  In today's world, I never felt more alone and misunderstood. Weirdly, you could go through so many relationships and never actually feel at home. One heartbreak after another no soul felt right to me. Till him. The day I met him was the day I decided to once more try and see the good in people. A little rusty as I was I still met him. Let me set the scene for you. After all, I want you to know what it felt like to meet him. The flames he sparked within me.

  A place you'd never expect to find even me or someone like him. Surrounded by so many people lusting for one another. He stood there people watching his eyes gazing over everyone. His mind is not completely focused on them though. I whispered to my friends asking if I should try and flirt even though  I found myself focusing solely on him. He captivated me the way he just stood there and watched. When I approached him of course my awkward self had to be the most halfwitted moron. "I like your style", I told him. How awkward could I get? I realize I was rusty but that was terrible. I can't believe I said that. Though all I got was a, "Thank you" Of course, the man was going to just say thank you. A random girl disturbing his night was not something he probably planned for. Of course, me being me I tried again but this time I was honest. I told him in the goofiest way possible, "I'm so sorry! I was trying to flirt but I'm kind of rusty you know?" To my surprise though he responded in a way that no one ever has before.

                                           "You don't need to flirt we can just talk"

  We did talk. When we found that being around lusty people probably wasn't a place to just sit down and talk we went back to my place. I never felt as understood as I did with him. The way his words flowed like a river. He made things feel so nice. Some would say I'm a hopeless romantic. I'd say they're right but when it comes to him. Everything just makes sense. We stayed up all night talking about our lives and even sharing some of the things I've never even shared with my closest friends. It felt like I was at peace. I never once found it strange that I could tell him even the darkest of things that I had gone through. A stranger that I felt complete bliss with.  After that night we continued to talk. I'd show him all the things I love from music to my adorable dog. 

  The days we spent together flowed together. Every moment with him was like being bathed in sunlight and I was a tree that desperately wanted to grow. Then there was the night he showed me the most beautiful place. We sat underneath the swaying tree's their pink petals falling like stars in the night sky down on us. Our lips met and I knew I already wanted him. These feelings that I thought were gone bloomed. He set fire to a flame that was nearly out. One more day with him is what I wanted. I got that.

  Then he disappeared like a dream. I was scared that he was a dream. That all that had happened wasn't actually true. I kept hoping every day that he would return. I would send little messages I didn't know if he would even get,  just keeping hope he'd reply to one. I ignored my feelings of doubt, what I felt with him I didn't want to let go. The days passed each one seemed longer than the other. My life filled to the brim with helping one person after the other. I felt drowned in emotions that I didn't want. Then there was the feeling of being alone. Though I had my friends and family even one surrounded by people tend to feel the loneliest. Something was missing. It was him. I missed the way his words made my heart feel as soothing as a calm ocean. I felt kind of lost. Maybe it had been all but a dream. I didn't want to believe that though. 

  Then like magic, he appeared and my heart bursted into flames once again. His apology made my heart melt. In reality, he left for an emergency at the time and couldn't message me. How sweet could he possibly get?! Of course, my goofy little self forgave him. However, I made him promise to take me on dates to make up for being gone for so long. In reality, I didn't realize that I had missed this sweet caring person so much. As we caught up I felt like I was back to those nights where we stayed up together just talking and being together. He found it shocking that I actually still felt so fond of him. I explained that no matter what he was still in my head even when when he was gone. Though the days were so long and tiring I got through them. Even if it was blind luck that we met I was really thankful that I did meet him. Of course, his honeyed little words made my heart swell with bliss. I had told him that I really wanted to hug him to the point he couldn't breathe due to how much I missed him. His replies are always the best.
                 
               "You already leave me breathless sometimes with your warmth and beauty."

  Oh how everything became so fuzzy and warm as those words dripped from his lips. He always knows how to make me so infatuated with him. The days seemed never-ending when he was around. I always slept so soundly after talking to him. We'd talk about anything and everything from ridiculous things like me trying to get him into a maid outfit, to talking about him being a really good person. I was terrified of losing him again. I thought I was the biggest overthinker that I knew but he didn't seem to care instead he eased my mind. The night that we talked all night was cut short because I became in immense pain. Yet he was still there through it all. His soft words were so soothing. Even in pain, he knew how to mend.

  This broken man became everything to me. Constantly he'd bring joy into my world every day even with just a small message. How he did it I have no clue. My feelings began to grow and I with them.  Even the cringest moments became some of my favorite. I didn't even begin to think that I could grow like this with a person. He made me want to grow and live. He knew how afraid I was to open up and feel but yet he never staggered. That was the moment I knew that I cared for him so deeper than I originally thought I would. I was enamored with him. Something I didn't really know at the time. He found out how much I had been hurt and how no one had actually shown me that they cared like that. Perhaps I did latch on but I did because I didn't want to lose a chance with him. To him I was precious and someone he wanted to care about.  No matter how long it would take he wanted to dissuade my fears. Something that no one has ever done. 

  That's when I let him meet them. The two most important people in my life. My brother and his wife. Their support is what got me through that month of constantly thinking of him on my mind. I was nervous if I'm honest. I've not let a lot of people them. You must be thinking he must be special if you let him meet them. Oh, how he is special. The way they saw with me...After that night they told me, "He seems to genuinely make you happy and care for you. I am so happy to see you smile". From that moment on I didn't waste any time. Any moment I could spare I was with him. My time became filled with his voice, his words, his unconditional caring soul. My soul was ready.
                                              

                                                               I don't want to let him go.