Building A Problem | Jasiper

5. Sorry

She looked over at his body, her breath heaving. It had all happened so fast. In the blink of an eye, really. The few seconds, so, so vital. And now, it was done. And there was nothing she could do to undo it.

   'No,' she began to mutter, looking at the residue left on her hands. 'No, no, no.' Everything became slowly foggy through her eyes. Over and over and over again, only one word left her mouth. No.

***

She watched his form slumped over his desk. He had worked so much recently, that they could barely find time for each other. Though she had dropped the bombshell on him not long ago, she felt she constantly needed to reassure him of them. They were still together. She would always love him, and only him. It wasn't untrue. At least not all of it. She did love him, more than she felt he properly knew. She thinks that was why she told him all the time. Maybe it was a reassurance for herself, too. She did love him. She did.

   She loved him, she loved him, she loved him.

   You cannot lend your heart for a night.

***

She heard screaming and shouting from outside the car. People on phones. But all she could focus on was him. Him, as the blood left his body, spilling on her hands. Him, as she knew he left her, left everyone, without giving her a proper chance to explain what had happened that night. 

   Why was he like this? He was a bastard, really, for not giving her the ability to explain herself. She did not want it to end like this; not without him knowing what had truly transpired. At least the events as she wanted him to know them...

***

'Jason?' Her voice was quieter than she had hoped, but he reacted nonetheless. His body straightened. She watched his muscles move as he stretched, rippling across his shoulders and back. Gracefully, truly. Good thing no exchanges of surnames had yet happened.

   'Hi, Pipes,' he said, trying to sound cheery through the weariness. She heard the waver in his voice. 'Sorry I fell asleep. Work's been a lot, recently.'

   Her body tensed a bit. 'Yeah, I know.' She tried returning the kind smile he gave her, but it turned into a grimace.

   His eyes narrowed behind his glasses as he saw her. She felt as if he was looking straight through her. 'Is anything wrong? Did you hear from Camp or something? Is everyone okay?'

   His constant worry about everyone's safety sent a wave of guilt through her. He had always been like this, so compassionate and selfless. She smiled at his comment, the guilt gnawing its way through her. 'Everyone's fine,' she said. A lie. 

   He stood from his chair to walk to her. He didn't embrace her like usual; he stood at an arm's length. 'Then what's up?' He put both hands on her shoulders, his blue eyes looking straight at her.

   She wanted to tell him. She really did. Wanted to tell him of what had happened that night. But seeing him like this, so worried about her, so worried about everyone else... she couldn't do that to him. Not now. 'I... I just miss you, that's all.'

   His face morphed into a kind smile, the scar on his lip stretching. He embraced her in a warm hug, his scent almost overwhelming. 'I miss you, too. I'm sorry that we don't spend more time together.' She couldn't help the heaving breaths and small sobs that rippled through her as she stood there, his arms wrapped around her. He cooed at her, his hands trailing over her back soothingly. 'It's alright,' he said. 'I'll figure out a way to work less hours, okay?' As if that was what she truly wished for. She just nodded, for she didn't dare open her mouth in the fear of what would involuntarily spill out of her. The daughter of Aphrodite. A mocking title.