Forgive or Forget

Chapter 2

Aly sat in one of the back pews of the cathedral. She stared silently at the front alter hoping, praying, that Steve would show up and she could talk things out with him. She knew without a doubt that the moment Nat had gotten back to the compound, that she would have found Steve and told them that she was back in town.

She debated not showing up herself, and just sending a message apologizing for avoiding him but that it was painful. And it was.

Aly had cried herself to sleep the night before. She had cried when she woke up and began to get ready. Everything was so painful anymore. Not physically, but emotionally. The past year had taken such a toll on her, on her conscious. Her morality had been tested time and time again. She had even begun to think that things could possibly be changing, until she realized that there was no way things could change- that he could change.

Aly wiped a tear from her cheek as she pushed the thought of him out of her mind. Not yet; she couldn't think of what happened, the things she did, and the long, long year she spent without Steve. She pulled out her phone, hoping that she had time to leave, but the numbers had just turned to show 9:00 am, and as if on cue, the door to the cathedral opened and Aly turned to see Steve slowly entering the building.

She stood, watching Steve as he walked slowly towards her. Aly's heart stopped in her chest. He was just as handsome as he was the day she met him, as well as the day she left. She took a few steps towards him and they both met at the last row. Steve leaned back against the pew and sighed. "I almost didn't come," he admitted harshly.

Aly swallowed hard, shoving down the emotions and the sobs that threatened to burst through after hearing his voice. "Steve, I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. I messed up real bad. I know that."

Steve stared at her for a moment, before looking down. He contemplated leaving. Could he really stand and listen to the excuses of the woman who left him? The woman, whom he had loved more than anything?

"I wasn't ready,"  Aly continued, tears welling up in her eyes. "I had to figure somethings out for myself. I never stopped loving you, Steve. Not even once."

Steve sighed again, putting his hands in his pockets. His patience had already thinned out and he wasn't willing to listen to the groveling. "You were gone for a year, Alyson."

Aly nodded and wiped a tear away. "That doesn't change how I feel, Steve."

Steve scoffed and turned his head away. Every word that came out of her mouth, every movement she paid, just standing in front of her- all of it hurt him to no extent. Every atom in his body told him to walk away, to leave her the way she left him. But his heart, his ever-forgiving heart- told him to stay. "It does for me, Alyson."

She sniffled, trying to stop the tears and the crying that was surely going to strengthen the moment he was out of sight. "It doesn't have to," she said softly. "We can start over. I can be ready this time. I am ready," her voice cracked at that last word.

Steve straightened out, clearing his throat. "No calls, no messages. Not even a letter, Aly." He snapped. It wasn't intentional, but he felt better letting it go. "I can't just forgive that right away, Alyson."

Aly nodded and shrank into herself. "I understand," she whispered. She cleared her throat; an attempt at getting her bearings again. "Would you at least consider having dinner with me?"

Steve's words betrayed him though he tried to hold back, "yeah, I can do that." He stated.

No goodbyes, no waves. Steve just shook his head slightly and turned, walking away towards the exit. Aly watched as he walked away, each step with such force it was as if he couldn't get away from her fast enough. A tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away.

But it didn't take long for that rush of emotions to crash into her like a wave on a rocky shore. Each step towards home, new tears fell down her face, coating her cheeks in salty streaks as she sobbed. Despite her apartments location, she walked up the five floors still sobbing, until she reached her door and opened it only to shut the door behind her and fall against it. She slid to the floor, letting the sobs out in heavy moans as the sounds escaped faster than she had wanted.

She could get it all out now, so when she saw him again it wouldn't be as bad. Then again, the next time could cause a new wave of emotion and she could end back on the kitchen floor, sobbing in a ball against her door.