tillys Adventure to find love

Untitled part

it was Tilly's first day at the morgue and she was sad. on the way there she had seen through a hotel window, a small, Justin beiber esk Twink getting railed by a short ginger. having never learned what sex was, tilly was distraught. nonthelesss she continued to work, hoping to rid herself of the sight. on the way to work she called her brother seamour . Seymour was the only gay man tilly knew as she had only met a handful of people in her life. tilly knew Seamour wasgay because her sister, Sophie, would shout slurs at him that tilly later learned (from loose article of time magazine that had been ripped out and tacked to the wall of the local planned parent hood) were used against gay people. 

"that was ed Sheehan and Justin Bieber" said seamour 'they are the most famous gay couple in the world now that James Charles died in that fire" 

tilly did not know what a fire was,  but she knew James Charles . before she had moved out, tilly had seen jamees on her YouTube recommended when nobody was in the house and she would use the numerous phones she had stolen from Isabella. the first time tilly had seen James she was so paralyzed with fear that she made Sophie come over and turn off all four phones. Sophie called him a slur before doing so (she did not know the word gay, only slurs) . every since that day tilly had wondered what it would be like to eat an entire Jeffrey star pallet

since it was nearly crhitmas the dead bodies at the morgue were filled with Yule logs, a treat from the staff to the mourning families . tilly had never seen a dead Bodie before and was very exceeded to smell them. as tilly approached the first dead body-- a French man in his midd to late thirties with long spider arms and the most average white man face ever, wearing a red adidas top and black shorts, the words attention still formed on his lips-- something jumped out !

it was  Bombalurina (  played by Taylor Swift in the hit movie cats) holding a large chunk of butter. 

hello said ubmbalurina 

h-h-h-h-hell-l-l-l-o" said tilly feeling imeediently flustered

Bombalurina stepped out of the body holding the butter like a peace offering. it had been carved into the face of the 44th presidents wife, Micheal Obama holding a pan of molten peeps. 'you are the most ebautyil full woman I have ever seen please take this butter+ said Bombaellurina

tilly blushed 't-t-t-t-t-t-t-tt--thank -yo--uou-ouou-u-u-u-u" said tilly taking the butter 

"y-y-y-y-y-y-y-o--u-uou ha-v-ve s-s-s-s-s-ome -y-ul--e l--og -ooo--n -y0ou XD" tilly said nerivously and tilly reached out to Bombalurina to brush it off. Bombalurina blushed and begin to sing the entire speak now (Taylor's versions ) album backwards. they both blished

that night tilly came home to the cardboard box she shared with sohpie in the large garage of an old man who collected anquit e mittens. tilly told shoe that she had a date the next day. Sophie was very  sad and called tilly a homosexual dirt clod before cleaning the grease off her head. 

the date went very well. Italy and Bombalurina went to a small family owned reasurant called chiplotely and shared a burrito . afterward they went to bomBombalurina's house and watched a movie. after some light shield banging tilly went home.n

next week, while tilly was exhusing the body of someone who looked suspiciously like hames Charles with a number of beauty blenders melted into his perfect eyebrows, tilly threw up spaghetti . she rushed to the bathroom 

oh no said tilly. im percgent !!!

tilly called Bombalurina and told her the news

ommg said Bombalurina im gonna be a father 

no said tilly im getting an abording 

but my family lineage will die out! said Bombalurina I am the last of my kind and ii must keep the bloodline strong if we are ever to rule over the worst section of Europe again.

too bad said tilly as fight song started to play in the background

tilly had seamour drive her to the same planned parenthood she learned the word gay at. they were about to walk in when they heard a shout from the nearby ally. together they went to look

oh no! said seamour its ed shoran ! and he's trying to shoot Justin with his guitar :(( 

Justin was leaking green blood from his reptilian skin as ed violently shamed the guitar across his neck, shouting the lyrics to a remix of baby and wrecking ball as he did

there is no time to call the 991 said tilly we need to get to planned parent hood to get and abrotishn I can feel him kicking

its a boy? said semen

no said tilly

they walking int to the planned parent hood and got the abortionshin