Festive One Shots

So This Is Christmas - Part 2

"I'm sorry about yesterday."

You supposed Harry's apology was a good way to start. He didn't sit in the jacuzzi with you like you'd half expected him to - instead sitting on the steps into it as his hand idly swirled through the warm water. He didn't look at you as he apologised, but you probably wouldn't either, because you were both just a bit awkward like that.

And yet you couldn't help but stare at him, your eyes harbouring a warmth you hadn't particularly felt for anyone in a long time, especially not Harry. But at a time like this - when you were both vulnerable and open, there was no place for animosity or pettiness. He'd lamented his guilt, and you were thankful.

"So am I." You mumbled, sinking a little further into the water so that it warmed around your neck.

He smiled, not hugely but enough that you could tell he appreciated your humour. "Shouldn't have said what I said, it were really horrible of me."

You cleared your throat again. "I wasn't exactly kind, either. Guess that's what happens when alcohol is added to a tense situation. 'M sorry for being a cow."

"You weren't." He shook his head. His curls shimmied, like waves of bronze, and your chest squeezed.

"I disagree." You hummed, shrugging with it so that the water lapped. "Thank you, though."

Harry barely twisted his head an inch towards you, but his eyes still met yours with the lightest hint you'd seen in them for years. His face was different - more mature. He was ageing well, growing into a strong set of features that meant he somehow became more and more handsome by the day. His hair was at a length you admired - where it wasn't trimmed too short yet it didn't carry that prince-like look. But it was oddly perfect. It curled in all the right places. With the strengthening of his jaw his head seemed to have grown wider, and for the first time he was managing to grow a stubble that suited. And right then, with the light behind you on the wall reflecting off his gorgeous eyes, they'd never looked so green.

"You shouldn't thank me." His brows dipped. "I'll take it, but I think you should've told me to bugger off home. Or at least stay away from you."

"Done a pretty good job of staying away from me on your own, mate."

Harry looked up towards the clear sky with a grimace. "But I haven't."

You frowned, struggling for words for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"Been up here every year, haven't I? Sometimes more than once. That's a pretty shit job at staying away."

You hesitated for a moment, eyes dropping to the level of water that surrounded you. You played with a bubble as you allowed your thoughts to take over for a moment or two. Harry looked back to you without moving his head. He didn't miss the confused and maybe slightly pained look in your eyes.

"I'd never ask you to leave." Your admittance came quietly. "Probably could've said anything to me, even when Chris was in earshot, and I could never do that to you."

"Why?"

You flicked the water with your finger, just to hear the little splash and fill the silent air. "Because I'm selfish."

"That's not true." Harry retorted, turning to fully face you now.

"No, it is. Asking you to leave would mean possibly ruining what we have for good. Even though it's never really been anything. But you could've brought a wife up here and I'd still be hopeful for something. How terrible is that?" You didn't take your eyes off the bubbling surface the entire time you spoke. "If I'd ever asked you to leave, there was the possibility that you'd never come back. I don't want that. I couldn't handle that."