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When a mission goes wrong and Natasha is exposed to a chemical agent forcing her to relive her past, Steve may be the only one to save her... if she doesn't kill him first.
• • •
Natasha wasn't sure when things went wrong.
The mission was supposed to be a standard undercover operation to recover sensitive intel about Hydra. Fury had told her and Steve to 'get in and get out.' It was nothing they hadn't done before; something she did so often she could do it with her eyes closed. Her partnership with Steve was seamless and tuned to precision, and they'd handled plenty of assignments bigger than this. They had fought aliens in New York, endured the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. together, and eradicated Avenger's level threats with their team.
No. She didn't know when it all went wrong because even if their missions went south, they always got out unscathed.
It was just the way things worked.
Everything had been going to plan as she downloaded the files onto the hard drive upstairs while Steve monitored the lower level. The building, an old Hydra base, was empty and quiet. The computer was running exceptionally slow, but she didn't mind, taking the opportunity to sit back in one of the office chairs. She was tired from her movie marathon with Steve last night, drinking cheap beer and sharing takeout as they went over the dozens of files for this mission. After he and Sam found her hiding out in Spain nearly a year after S.H.I.E.L.D. fell and her secrets, among everyone else's, were dumped on the internet, she spent more time with Steve than was professionally appropriate. They had 'shared life experience' and formed a friendship she never had before. They saw one another at their lowest points and revered their triumphs together. Some of her happiest memories were with Steve, and she trusted him with her life.
He was her best friend, aside from Clint Barton, but her friendship with Steve was different than hers with Clint. She owed both Clint and Steve a debt, but Clint had never been constant in her life. He was always there when she needed him - yes - however, Steve was there even when she didn't need him. He was there with hot tea and soft smiles after a rough mission; a warm blanket and foot rubs after a long day. She could show up on his doorstep at midnight as a storm raged outside because he knew how much she hated thunderstorms. He'd pull her into a hug without saying anything before leading her to the couch to watch movies for the rest of the night. It was a friendship she didn't deserve but was too selfish to let go of; a friendship where the lines were blurred between them, and she tried not to think about how much he meant to her. He came into her life with his handsome smile, kind gestures, and unwavering trust; stealing the breath from her lungs and making her want to wipe the red from her ledger so she could touch him without tainting him with the blood on her hands.
Only she couldn't touch him the way she wanted to; the way she always dreamed about because she didn't deserve him.
