a strange new feeling

The Truth - Matt P.O.V

"S-Sorry for barging in but- Matt..?" Gus finally noticed.. My chest

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"G-Gus, I swear i-it's not what it looks lik-" I slammed the door shut.. Is he really.. Not a guy? Oh titan.. I think I need a minute..

~[5 minutes of thinking later]~

I feel dizzy.. Maybe me and Matt were supposed to never be friends in the first place..

On the other hand, I should just accept him.. Just because he's different from me doesn't make him any less of a boy. Crap! He probably feels like garbage now! I really messed up, didn't I?

I quickly ran over to the bathroom and knocked on the door

"Matty I'm sorry! I-I shouldn't have walked in on you like that! Please open the door.." I begged for him to open the wall between us so we could talk, I still lov- like Matt no matter what, he's still important to me and this doesn't make him any less of a friend.

"sniffle.. G-Gus? W-Why are you-" Matt tried to speak but I quickly hugged him and began to cry a little

"M-Matty.. I'm sorry for running out like that. I am completely okay with you being you and this shouldn't change our friendship," I softly held his left hand, "I hope you c-can forgive me for my rude reaction.."

We continued to embrace each other in a comforting silence until Matt spoke,

"T-Thank you.. You are actually one of the only p-people who didn't think of me differently. So, Thank y-you." I could tell he struggled not to cry and I can't really blame him, I was such a jerk to him earlier..

"Matt..?" He began to quietly sob into my shoulder. I pull him away and whisper to him, "Wanna talk about it?"

He nods his head and we walk over to my bed.

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Matt P.O.V (T.W- Self harm)

Gus walked me back to his bed with his right arm around me. We sat down and it started with a few questions,

"When did you figure out you were.. a guy?" Gus asked me in a calm tone.

"I t-think I kinda always knew... Ever since I was little I would never act like everyone else.. I hated my long hair, I hated my clothes, and I hated myself.." I tried to whisper the last part.

"Did you- uhm,  I'm trying to not sound impolite with this.." I tried to figure out what he was trying to ask until it clicked,

"Did I harm myself? Sadly,  yes.. It was such a long time ago that the scars are barely visible, but you can still see a few." All the terrible memories from every time I hurt myself came flowing back, like a tsunami.

"Oh.. I-I'm so sorry- Matt?!" Gus trembled

I began to hyperventilate and tears started to flow down.

"I-I'm s-sorry G-Gus.. This is still a s-sensitive topic for me," I held Gus's hand in an effort to calm down, but it didn't do much.

"Matt, breath in.. Inhale ..breath out.. Exhale" Gus helped me return my breathing to normal.

"I-I shouldn't have asked that.. I'll get you some water, stay here." He stood up from the bed and walked down the stairs with a look of guilt in his eyes.

Gus P.O.V

The wood beneath me creaked as I slowly crept down the stairs. Did I cause him to have a panic attack? I've been a bad friend today..

I placed the cup under the faucet and I turned the handle to start the flow of water. Once the cup was full I tried to run up the stairs without spilling the liquid

"Sorry that I took so long.." I went over to Matt.

After I gave him the drink he took a sip, and placed it on my nightstand.

"G-Gus.. I thought about it and I don't want to go back to my mom's house.. For a while. Do you mind if I stay with you?"  Matt queried.

"O-Of course! You can sleep in my bed," I just realized what I just said and the both of us began to blush a little, "I-I mean only i-if you want.." I hesitated.

"Y-Yeah.. It's p-perfect."