5 Years | ❝Jilix❞ ✔️

10. the reason

Lixie<3

4:10 pm

Hannie:

Felix..?

..where were you?

You finally responded

I cant believe it

After 5 years

Please tell me where you were

I was.. Worried alot

Lixie:
Calm down

Let me speak

Aren’t you Han?

Hannie:

What?

Yes I am did you forget me?

Lixie:
I'm.. Not him

I'm his brother

Chan

Hannie:
Oh..

You're not him..

Then

Where is he?

How has he been?

Is he fine?

Lixie:

Calm downnn

I found this letter today

I'm gonna send it to you and you'll understand everything

To your mailbox

Hannie:

Oh..

Then i'll send you the address right away

But..

Is he fine?

Can i talk with him for once?

Lixie:

...

Read the letter first hm?

The next day the letter finally arrived. I rushed to take it from my mailbox and went to my room to read it.

It was a letter from Felix, to me.

"Hey Channie hyung if you ever see this letter, please send it to Hannie"

The first thing i read.
I opened the letter and started to read everything.

"Hey Hannie,

I know I've been ignoring you alot. And I also know it's hurting you alot.
You never wanted to be ignored haha, but I didnt know I had to do it for some reasons.
Hannie, I'm only an online friend to you right? At the end of the day, I'm only an online friend.
I dont know if this letter would ever reach to you but I'm still writing to you because I'm too afraid to tell my feelings to you.

Do you remember Hannie once you broke your ankle? And you said your friends helped you alot and you were so thankful to them. Do you know that the feeling of not being able to help you was.. very frustrating.
I felt like I'm just an online friend who only can say some words.
Nothing else.

I always wanted to meet you Hannie. But little did I know I had this deadly disease.
I got to know that I have brain tumor.
I would be gone forever in 15 days. All I had was, 15 days.

I really wanted to meet you but it wasn't possible. Seeing you excited to meet me made me feel guilty. That's why I couldn’t tell you everything. At the same time I wanted to tell you everything but I just couldn't make you all sad.

And now I'm here to tell the truth in this letter. I know It's awkward but I want to be more than just friends with you. Even if I wanted to I never could tell this to you because our friendship might ruin. Being in love with you was the best thing I've ever felt during my lifetime.

All the time I've spent with you while texting, made me happier than anyone could ever. The times I even took my phone for the first time when going to sleep. It was fun to have late night talks with you instead of sleeping. Talking about the stars made me feel the happiest, when I didnt know I was about to be one of them.

We shared our moments and feelings towards silly things and many other. I'm sorry that I couldnt share this one to you. I'm extremely sorry Hannie. I hope you forgive me for that.

We talked about our friends and family problems, which made me feel good after sharing them all.
You made me feel safer than ever, Hannie.

And whenever you said you need a hug from someone, I wasn’t there for you. I couldn’t hug you.
All I could do is type 'it'll be okay'.

I love you so much Hannie, I dont know if you feel the same but it's okay if you dont. I had been willing to tell my feelings untill it was the right time but I realised I ran out of time.

I never got tired of you, trust me Hannie. You've said this alot before that I'm getting tired of you. But no Hannie, I was more in love the more time I spent with you. You also told me that I can be myself to you. I felt so good which cant be described in words.

My handwriting looks a mess here cuz I have a lot in my mind and the more I write, the more things come up in my head because my love for you would be endless.

I think I should stop here, I really annoyed you for the past 2 years right? Haha I know. I wanted to spend more time with you but as I said, I ran out of time. You'd always call me an annoying cat who bakes brownies so well that you're jealous, I wanted to make some brownies for you but I dont think it's possible now.

Hannie will you promise a thing?you won't ever forget me. And please be healthy like always and eat alot of delicious food cuz you never know when you run out of time, please enjoy everything in your life unlike me.

I think it's time for a goodbye. Please stay well and don't forget me, I love you Han Jisung.

-- Lee Felix, 3rd December, 2017."

As I finish reading the letter, I realized I was crying from when I read the first word.

You disappeared 5 years ago, like nothing happened.

I couldn’t tell you that I feel the same for you. I love you too Lee Felix.

And who said our promise broke? We'll surely meet..

In heaven.

Now playing: HaPpY by Han Jisung.