Tomi picks up her phone and calls Pastor Jerry.
"Hello, my sister. God bless you. I hope all is well. In fact, I have been fasting on your behalf. God is about to do a great thing in your marriage." Pastor Jerry said confidently.
"Thank you, Pastor. Please, I would like to see you. I have a special package for you," Tomi said.
"Oh! I will be there right away. Please prepare something for me to break my fast. You are blessed."
"Ha! This one is original ebi na ... I will show him pepper today," Tomi's mum declared.
****
Moments later, Pastor Jerry arrives.
"Peace be unto this house," Pastor Jerry proclaims.
"Enh! Kamoru!!! Mogbe!! It is you she is calling Pastor Jerry! Ha! Kamoru re (This is Kamoru)"
Pastor Jerry couldn't utter a word. He was shocked. His game is up!
"Ha! Pastor Jerry. So, you are a scam?" Tomi cried out.
"Are you alright? Can't you hear his name? Kamoru. Can you see your life?" Marcus sighed.
"He is a big scam. This was the same thing he did that landed him in jail. Kamoru, why did you decide to scam my daughter?" Tomi's mum queried.
"Mamo! Iya nla (Big mother). Ko ni baje funyi (You will not be ruined). No be my fault, na hustle: man must chop (It's not my fault. This is hudtling: A man must eat)," Pastor Jerry explained.
"Yee!! I've been duped! Pastor Jerry! All those Grammar and phonetics you speak, they have disappeared," Tomi cried out as she grabs him.
"Alaye leave my cloth alone. Na jeje I dey...na you carry your two left legs come meet me. As I see say you be maga. I sharply turn you to my client... Me wey I never even fall in love before. Na me you dey expect make I dey counsel and pray for you. Walahi..you dull gan o (you are really dull)," Pastor Jerry bragged.
"I'm doomed!" Tomi cried as she rolls on the floor.
"Mr kamoru," Marcus called.
"Big Daddy! I hail you! Abeg help me commot that Mr...call me brother kamoru (Please get rid of "Mr."... Call me "brother Kamoru),"
"Brother kamoru,"
"Na me be that!! Always guiding! Sharp shooter!! baba, your wife Sabi cook o (your wife knows how to cook)..."
"Well done sir. To be honest, I won't blame you at all. It's my wife who is searching for what isn't lost that is to be blamed for all this. Imagine! Someone like you, eating my wife's food free of charge. The most painful aspect of it; she even knelt to give you food. To make it worse, she gave you six pieces of meat." Marcus nods his head in disappointment.
"Ha! Kamoru , you will not make Heaven! You are a thief!" Tomi's mum cries out
"Mamo! Leave that aside. Heaven no sure for anybody (Heaven is not for anybody)," Kamoru replied.
"My dear brother Kamoru, please, I am pleading. Kindly help me return the sixty thousand naira you collected from your client; my wife," Marcus pleaded.
"Big Daddy. Women wicked o. If I tell you say, I give Sukura the money,"
"Which Sukura? hope it isn't the one her mum sells pepper?" Tomi's mum asked.
"Na she o," he replied.
"Good... seems she is a familiar person. Can you please help us get the money back, even if it's half? We don't mind." Marcus pleaded.
"Big Daddy. Sukura don carry money run, as I give her. She send me message say she wan break-up. The following day wey I say make I go meet her for house. Them tell me say she don travel, till today, her number no go," he replied with a sad shrug.
"Amazing! Scam jam scam (scam surpasses scam). What an unbalanced world!" Marcus sighs.
YOU ARE READING
HOLY SCAMTRIMONY
HumorTomi and Marcus are a young married couple who love each other but their lack of understanding leads to constant drama and quarrels in their marriage.
