Senior Year

Two + Tonye

Zazuuuu! Zeh!

I heard the stupid song in my sleep for the third time. I got up from my bed cursing whoever was playing that music.

"Who dey play this nonsense na?? This early morning!" Tokoni my immediate younger sister yelled.

"I swear, if I catch that person eh, he or she is dead!" Tammy, my big bro shouted from across the hall.

Mischievous laughter came from the twins' room and I felt like strangling those two idiots.

"Let me catch another person speaking pidgin in my house!" My father boomed.

"Adawari and Preye! If I come and catch you there with that music still playing, you are dead!" My mother yelled.

Just another chaotic morning in the Wariso household. I walked into my bathroom and closed the door. Immediately I did that, there was a series of terrifying bangs on my door.

Opening it, I saw the mischievous twins with a scared look.

"What do you want?" I asked, annoyed. I didn't really want to deal with them this morning.

"Help us, please. Tokoni is chasing us." They pleaded with their hands clasped together.

"No." I said and shut the door in their faces. The little fuckers were too naughty, I just wanted someone to deal with them already. And it wouldn't be me, cause I would pound them to a pulp.

In the middle of my very soothing morning shower, some idiot decided to open my bathroom door without permission.

"Who be that idiot?" I barked out.

"Call me idiot again, I swear you go die now now." Tammy's voice came through the glass walls of my shower cubicle. Luckily, it wasn't transparent glass so I didn't bother with covering my valuables.

"You no get hand? Abi you no fit knock? Untrained fowl." I told him snarkily. I turned off the shower and wrapped my towel around my waist.

"If them no train me, them no train you too. See your head like pig." He fired back. This was a common occurrence between us. Insulting each other.

"Na you be the pig. You don use eye look your room well well? Like where mad man dey stay." I responded coming out of the cubicle and going towards the sink where my toothbrush was.

"If you talk one more thing, eh? I will cut off that thing that is giving you mouth."He threatened.

"Jealousy." I taunted. "Because your own dey small, you wan cut my own. Make I give you money make you buy enlargement pills?"

"Enlargement pills kill your papa there." He gave me the waka sign, his five fingers spread out in my direction.

"Na the same papa we get, olodo. Make he no hear that nonsense wey you talk." I said, punching him.

"See this small boy o. Who give you mind to insult me?" He asked me, rubbing the spot I punched.

"Abeg, do get admission comot from this house. I don tire to see your face." I said annoyed. He laughed and nodded.

"No worry, I go soon go. I get pikin to take care of." He said and I froze. He slapped his hand on his mouth, a little too late, regretting what he said. I processed this information.

"You said what?" I reverted to perfect English, the way we always did in our family when we were serious.

"A child." He said reluctantly. "Valerie has a baby on the way."

"Is it yours?" I asked, my brain still mulling over this new development.

"I just said so, idiot." He retorted. My jaw became unhinged and I just stared at him for a few moments. He looked at me weirdly.

"Holy shit. What are you going to do, Tammy?" I asked in shock.

"What do you mean 'what am I going to do'? I'm taking care of my kid, of course." He replied.

"How? You don't have a job. You're seeking admission. Hell, you and Valerie are both seeking admission. How are you going to get the money?" I asked. Tammy ran his hands over his face.

"That one is my business to worry about. But that's for later. She's just a month along." He said casually.

"How are you going to tell Dad and Mom?" I asked him.

"I don't know." He responded.

"What do you mean you don't know?" I prodded. He huffed, getting annoyed by my many questions.

"I mean, I DON'T KNOW!" He yelled and I winced at his loud tone. He looked away from me, sighed and left the bathroom.

I was alone with my own thoughts and the battle raging internally. I was angry but for no reasonable reason. This would cause complete chaos in the family and everyone would face Father's wrath.

And to top it all, the blob of toothpaste sat there on my white singlet, the blue of the toothpaste staining the white cloth. I hated stains. My life was officially screwed.

I punched the mirror.