Aurelio's Dilemma

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER NINTEEN:

"Blair. Mistaking you. For Matt," Leslie repeated Aurelio's theory. For a moment Aurelio thought she'd feel his forehead for a fever and shoo him back to his therapist, but instead she just blinked thoughtfully. "In what sense? Literally?"

"No, not literally." Aurelio's leg bounced. He looked down at it, watched his knee bob, and he realized it was making the table shake. "I don't know. Sometimes it feels like she knows Matt better than she knows me, and she's applying that knowledge in our relationship."

Leslie nodded slowly, perhaps at the same rate her brain was able to process this situation. "I get your point," she said. "But also...the way you described it, the way Blair treats you, it might be her personality. As in, whether she's with you, or Matt, or any other boy, she'd still treat him the same way, because that's who she is and that's how she expresses her love."

This sounded more logical than Aurelio's theory. More realistic. "Maybe," he said after a few seconds of hesitation. "That makes more sense. I might've gotten paranoid about Matt and Blair after that nightmare I had about them...um...kissing." Aurelio cringed at the memory, eyes on his lap, refusing to catch Leslie's probable what the hell? expression. "Ever since then, it's like I've become hyper-aware of them, like my brain wants to believe what I saw in that dream. I...I couldn't even kiss Blair without imagining Matt in my place." Aurelio let out a little breath. "And these past few days, Matt and Blair have been a bit more comfortable with each other. Noticed that?"

Aurelio told her about all the times Matt and Blair had surprised him; when Blair pinched Matt's cheek and Matt didn't flip the hell out, even though that would have been his typical reaction; when he took his shirt off in front of her without hesitation; when she checked him out right in front of Aurelio's eyes.

"And it wasn't a quick look," Aurelio said. "She took her time checking him out, Leslie. It confused the shit out of me. She's never done anything like that. And Matt...since when is he so comfortable around her? I don't understand how fast things happened. Literally less than a week ago they hardly acknowledged each other. Am I missing something?"

"I..." Leslie cleared her throat. Aurelio heard shifting, and he lifted his gaze to look at Leslie as she straightened in her seat. "Damn. You're right. There's something wrong here. Checking a guy out in front of you, especially your best friend...doesn't sound like Blair. Not to mention that she's always been so in love with you. I mean, even when you two broke up, she wouldn't so much as look at another guy. She said she'd wait for you even if it took forever."

Ah.

The breakup.

Aurelio found himself chuckling bitterly at the absurdity in this, leaning an elbow on the table, cheek resting against his palm. "Tell me more about that."

"...About your breakup?"

"Yeah. Do you know why we broke up?"

"Because she wanted you to quit smoking?"

"Apparently."

Leslie frowned. "What do you mean apparently?"

"I mean that that's what Blair told me. I don't remember breaking up with her, and I sure as hell don't remember smoking in the first place. You know why? Because I don't. I never did. But what do I know about my life?"

"Wow." Leslie looked like she needed counseling herself and this discussion wasn't even over yet. "That's...I thought you were only forgetting about little details? You smoking is a bit more than a detail."

"Because I didn't forget that. I know that I don't smoke, Leslie," Aurelio said. "I have no idea what this is about or where it came from, but I know that I don't smoke."

But Matt does, he thought.

What?

Aurelio froze, puzzled. The thought had come to him on its own, faint and distant like an echo, like a trembling whisper from the back of his mind. First he'd hallucinated about Matt smoking, and now his brain was randomly volunteering to throw that information in, and it wasn't even true. What was up with that?

"To be fair," Leslie said, "I always wondered why you would smoke. I don't know, I guess it just...didn't feel like you. And now that I think about it, how come I let it slide? I should've given you hell until you'd quit."

"Yeah..." Aurelio shook his head, focusing on Leslie again. "Yeah. That's exactly how I feel about my dad smoking. Literally. Apparently he took it up from his dad when he abandoned him, so he's been smoking since he was fourteen. When he told me about this the other night, something felt so, so wrong. I don't know what exactly. Maybe how empty and emotionless he sounded," Aurelio said in a low voice, leaning back against the backrest. "Or maybe that's normal. I mean, it's not a pleasant topic. Obviously he won't sound--wait."

"What?"

"Wait wait wait."

"What is it?"

Aurelio straightened again. He frowned. Something clicked in his head, separate stories intertwining for a moment. Leslie's voice rang in the background. She called his name a few times in an alarmed voice, then she fell silent, giving him a moment to gather himself again. He snapped his head in her direction.

"I'm sorry," he said. "But I just realized something. My dad's story, doesn't it remind you of Matt?"

Leslie pursed her lips for a moment, then she nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess. Matt's father abandoned him too."

"How old was Matt when his dad left?"

"I'm not sure. Twelve or thirteen. Maybe fourteen. He never really told us when exactly," Leslie said. "Why?"

"That's around the age my dad's father abandoned him too."

"Coincidence?"

Aurelio shook his head. "No, I don't think so. I have to know for sure how old Matt was at that time."

"Okay," Leslie said. Her voice was careful, delicate--scared of offending. Aurelio wanted to tell her that he trusted her advice, so she shouldn't be afraid, but she'd already continued. "Elio, listen." Leaning her elbows on the table, she looked him the eyes. "I trust your reasoning. I trust that if you really want to know how old Matt was back then, then it must be important." Aurelio couldn't describe how comforting these words were. "But can you tell me where you're going with this?" she asked. "So what if Matt and your dad happened to be the same age when their dads left? What exactly does it prove?"

Well. Good question.

One Aurelio didn't have an answer for.

He shrugged. "Not sure," he said. "I just feel like there's a connection there."

• • •

he's on the right track ;) tysm for reading and I'm so so sorry about the late update!! :( i have like 300 versions of this chapter in case you're wondering why it took me so long to update lol 🤣😭

(Just a quick reminder: this is not and will not end up a love triangle! It's literally the furthest thing from that. Can't wait for the part where everything comes together and finally makes sense hehe)