It had been a long day at the station. Fireman Sam used his skinny delicate fingers to cutely lock up the door, before prancing to his Ferrari. He was going home. Home to his darling. He turned on some music, he was a huge fan of Taylor Swift. So as he drove home, Sam belted his heart out to All Too Well (Taylor's version 10 minutes) and sobbed until his piercing blue orbs were red.
Gru heard the Ferrari pull up outside. He squealed with delight and raced over to the door on his tiptoes. He wiggled on the spot as he waited for Sam to come inside. As he heard the key turn in the lock, Gru couldn't help but let out a squeak of excitement. But when he saw Sam's blood streaked orbs, his smile faded dramatically. He wrapped his arms around Sam cutely, and screamed 'what's wrong baby? Who hurt you? I will go to their house and squirt them with jelly guns up their bum hole until it comes out their mouth and they die!' Gru loved to scheme. Sam took off his hello kitty bucket hat and tossed it angrily on the floor. 'I hate Jake Gyllenhaal' he cried, and then he fainted cutely into Gru's chest.
Gru knew what he had to do. He had to give Sam a kiss of true love. So he dragged Sam's 4kg body over to the sofa and laid him down aesthetically. Just before he was about to kiss him, Gru remembered that he needed to record his 1 second a day. So he took a cute video of Sam being unconscious. Then he kissed him. Or rather, tried to kiss him. Something was preventing the touch of their lips. It was Grus long badongalong schlong of a nose, which was cutely stabbing Sam in the cheek. Gru pulled back, as he was an empath and sensed Sam might be hurt. 'GORLS COME HERE.'
Margo, Edith and Agnes arrived in the room in 0.000001 seconds as they weren't like other girls. They were gorls. Gru commanded them to hold up his nose out of the way so he could kiss Sam and wake him from his cute slumber. Margo mounted Gru's mountainous back and pulled his nose up from behind. It felt like a spring. Gru was taking a very long time to kiss Sam, and she could feel the nose starting to slip from her smooth, slim fingers. Alas, she could no longer hold it, and it flew back towards Sams face with the speed of a thousand rocket ships. Luckily, Gru had just kissed him 0.0000000001 seconds before it hit, so Sam woke up to the sight of Grus devilishly handsome long badongalong schlong of a nose in his face.
Sam remembered that he and Gru had a table booked for 6 o clock at a posh new restaurant. So they quickly went to their room and selected their aesthetic outfits. Gru wore pit vipers, entays, an Adidas tracksuit and topped it off with a bumbag. He was feeling fancy tonight. It was his little secret. Gru was an eshay, and tonight would be the night Sam found out. Gru quivered in excitement at the thought of Sam finally seeing him as he really is.
Sam was putting on his corset and floor length skirt. He felt pretty. His fireman uniform was very unflattering, so he decided to modify it while he waited for Gru to be ready so he could tighten the corset. Sam cutely cut the shirt into a crop top, and made the trousers into booty shorts. The shoes now looked strange with the outfit, so Sam went and borrowed some of Edith's knee length high heels. Perfect. He couldn't wait to see what everyone at the station thought of his makeover tomorrow.
'Gru, honey! My corset is a bit loose.' It was showtime. Gru strutted over to Sams room while imagining bad romance by lady Gaga was playing. He felt like such a baddie at that moment. He opened the door, and Sam spun around aesthetically, his ranga hair floating in the breeze. 'My goodness, Gru! What is this outfit?' Grus heart froze. Did Sam not accept him? 'T-t-t-this is who I really am....an eshay.' He hung his head in embarrassment, he should've been like his mother wanted him: an emo. But suddenly he felt Sam's gaze burning into him with the intensity of a thousand suns. 'Gru you're so hot.' Sam was shaking at the knees and drooling uncontrollably. Gru had been feeling a bit warm in the 83837 degree heat and so he started swimming in the drool. Sam looked at his deviously handsome boyfriend swimming in his drool and thought that they didn't even need to go to dinner, because they had everything they needed right there.
