Through the Line of Fire

Letting Go

Natasha's P.O.V.
"I need to tell you something." I said removing myself from his loving hold. "What is it?" He asked stroking my arm. I stood up to face him.
"I can't do this anymore. Us. It's clearly not healthy and I can tell it hurts you just as much as it does me. This was the last time Steve. I'm not coming back." I muttered. I could tell my words stung him from the look on his face.
"What? Don't." He pleaded getting up from the bed.
"Please don't make this harder than it has to be." I choked out holding back any form of emotion.
"I just don't understand why you can't just... Look if this is about your stupid past I don't care! I love you! When I look at you I don't see a girl in the RedRoom. I don't see an assassin who was trained to do nothing but kill. I see Natasha. A woman who when you see the good in her you realize she is just as vulnerable as the next person." His words hit me hard.

Suddenly I couldn't find the strength to hold back those tears that were urgently waiting to spill out. "That's just it. I feel like when you say stuff like that, I'm gonna wake up from some dream. But then I think 'oh this can't be a dream because if it were than I'd probably end up killing you in the end.' Because that's all I've ever done is kill. I killed my loved ones, my friends, people I didn't even know that didn't deserve it. Dead!" I stood in front of him pounding his chest with my fist even though I knew it wasn't doing any good. "And I can't change any of it!" I shouted before falling into his arms. They circled around me and he spoke through the silence.
"You're right. And I shouldn't have said it was stupid because it's not. I'm just hurt and angry. It's just I haven't felt like this ever since, well, you know." I knew he was talking about Peggy. She was another reason why I was afraid to say these next few words. "Steve. I- I" I stuttered against his chest. The words were so hard to get out but I had to . "YA lyublyu tebya." There I said it. I couldn't see him but I could tell that he was smiling and just those few words made his heartbeat go five times faster.
"Don't worry Nat, the feeling is mutual." In his own way that meant I love you too. He kissed the top of my head. We were both never good at saying it in emotional states. Well I had never actually said it to him but he had, and he usually only said the actual words if he wasn't paying attention. When he did though, there was always this awkward silence that followed. Don't get me wrong, it always gave me a funny feeling when he said it, but that was the problem. I didn't know if it was good or not. So he sort of made this silent agreement that he wouldn't say it if he was actually aware that he was saying it.
"But... That's why I have to leave." I hugged him tighter, waiting for the worst.
"Okay" he sighed. "But just know that you can always come to me and don't think just cause I'm easily letting you go out the door that I don't care about you. I'm doing it because you're the only thing I care about." I gave him a kiss goodbye and he kissed me back. Our last kiss was lasting a little long and I knew he wasn't going to break it off any time soon. He started to deepen it so I pull away. "Stop." I put distance between us, growing closer to the door "Goodbye Rogers." I turned the knob and walked out the door.

Steve's P.O.V.
When the door shut behind her, my fist hit the wall. "Dammit Rogers!" I rent into a rage. The only thing I could see was red, all because of some woman.
What's the big deal? She's left before. This is probably just like all the other times she's left.
But I could tell she meant it this time. Every other time she just left. This time she actually said goodbye and she called me Rogers. Something we hadn't done in years.
I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself. I let her do this to me every time. I should've seen this coming.
I stood up and grabbed my cell phone. I went straight to Tony's contact. There's a good chance he wasn't up but you never know with him.

Tony: Hey man what's up.
Steve: Hey I feel like letting off some steam and was wandering if you wanna try out that new suit you've been working on.
Tony: Sure come on down.

------------

"Hey man you ready--" Tony was caught off guard by my punch.
"I don't know? Are you?" I asked with a stern face.
"Alright! Let's get this party started!" He said excitedly.
He threw the next punch but I blocked it and grabbed a hold of his arm and twisted it behind his back. "You give?" I asked. What came next, I didn't expect. He jumped up in the air and over my body like an acrobat. Now I was suddenly the one with my arm pinned behind my back. He pushed me to the ground and said, "Not a chance Capsicle." I jumped back on my feet and went straight for his waist. He quickly dodged me but I came back around to make a right cross. He blocked it, I tried throwing a punch with my left hand and he blocked that too.
He opened his mask and gave me a devilish grin. I knew what he was going to do. I tried getting out of his hold but I couldn't. "Tony, don't even think about it." I was too late we were already accenting. My feet grew further and further from the ground. Soon enough we were at least 50ft off the ground. "This isn't funny!" I yelled.
"Oh I think it's hilarious! But you are kind of heavy." He grunted.
"You better not let me fall!"
"Relax, wouldn't dream of it!" I felt my grip loosening.
"Tony bring us down now!" I commanded.
"Alright fine." He brought us to the ground and sternly grimaced at him.
"Dude what's your problem?" He asked.
"Nothing! I don't have a problem!" I harshly snapped. He sighed and left but soon return without his suit.
"Let's take a brake and talk." He said in a concerned voice.
We sat on the bench against the wall. At first it was silent until he broke it. "This is about Nat isn't it?"
I shrugged my shoulders and said, "So what if it is?"
"What happened?" He asked, he didn't have to. He most likely already knew what I was about to say.
"She uh- she left." I sighed.
"So. She's left before." He informed. "No this time was different. She's gone and she isn't coming back. She actually told me goodbye."
"Maybe this was good thing you know? You guys have been chasing each other for what, a year now? Maybe it's time to move on." Maybe he was right. I had to move on but I didn't want to do it so soon.
"I don't know. I just need some time to think."
"Hey, I'm having a birthday bash in about a month or so. You should come meet some girls, have a good time, relax." He suggested.
"That sounds okay, I might take you up on that offer." I said getting up to leave.
"Where are you going?" He asked. "Home. It's 5:30 am. You were the only person I knew that would be up this early. It's my day off and I'm going back to bed."

----------------
Natasha's P.O.V.

The phone kept ringing but I didn't feel like talking to anyone so I let it go straight to voicemail. "Hey it's- it's me." It was Steve. "Look I'm not calling to try to get you back I just wanted to say something." There was a pause but only for a few seconds. "I wish I knew. I wish you told me. If I knew that was gonna be the last time I got to be with you then I would have made it last forever. I would have shown you how much I loved you. I know it's too late but if there was any possible way to make you stay I would've done it. Whether it be showing you more love or showing less of it I would have done it. Well, I'm gonna go back to bed. Sorry if I bothered you." Then the line cut off.

Okay guys I'm so sorry if it sucks. I swear it gets better it's just hard for me to start something. I just want to go straight to the good stuff. Know what I'm saying? But please give me a chance. I hope you like it. :) If it sucks just tell me what I need to fix.😁😁