Secret Thoughts of a Girl *ON HOLD*

Chapter 6

Dear Diary,

There's this bump on my face. I want to kill it. It'll be gone by tomorrow. Trying not to pop it, or it might scar. Thankfully my hair covers it up.

Tomorrow is the last day of school this week, so if I can go ONE more day with hiding it, things will work out. And then it will be gone by next week.

Today I'm going to web chat with David. I haven't told him I was told he went behind my back yet. I might tell him today. Despite that though, I still love him. That will never change. It might not be romantically, but I do love him - in one way or another. Nick.

A few months ago I wouldn't look twice if I saw him in the hall. But now, I'm finally seeing the "hot" guy everyone sees when they seem him. When he sees me, he always makes sure he's in my view, and then when he sees I've seen him, his eyes light up, and he gives me the most genuine smile. OMG, I had two cupcakes today! :(

Oh, and I went down like 3 pounds I think, so 127 pounds. Two more and I'll reach my goal for this week, 125 lbs. By the end of November, 120 pounds! Let's go!

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Dear Diary,

Weight update: 125lbs!! I just checked it! I reached my weekly goal! And oh my goodness, I didn't think it'd drop that fast! And I didn't even exercise, or starve myself! I'm barely even hungry! x) [Though I do still have food cravings, just not the hunger kind]

Social update: -video chatted with David! First time seeing him in months! He looks nerdy LOL. My skin looked clear in the camera, cause it was blurry, yay! -Nick talked to me on msn. ALMOST had a heart to heart conversation, but not quite yet. He messaged me first today.

Oh gosh, 125 pounds!! Already! And no exercise hunger! Amazing! I'll write down what I've been doing next entry! I think I might do a few exercises to speed things up a bit. Now, I have the rest of the month to lose 5 more! Let's do this!!

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Dear Diary,

Argh, today my mom gave me this ice cream bar, and I HAD to eat it, cause it would've been totally out of character if I didn't, and she'd suspect something. I checked the box later and it said 310 calories! For ONE bar! Oh my goodness! And then I ate some cashews, I'm not sure how much. Ughh. Thankfully though, my mom also bought almonds - healthy, and good for anti-wrinkling! I also has some Crispers [chips] today, because AGAIN my mom gave them to me, and was there while I ate. Thankfully she gave me a bottle of water, so I gulped that down before eating. I think I'll either have a really small dinner, or skip it all together. I should probably eat so I don't get heart burn.

I'll eat no more then what I can fit in my hand. <-- Wow, that's a good rule! I'll try it out for a while, and if it works I'll add it to my plan.

Thank goodness I decided to walk to my brother's school today. That, and I had a martial arts class too. Hopefully that burned enough calories. I feel icky, I should go take a shower. And then I'll eat a small amount, and sleep or something.

Oh yeah, I got my report card today. My average is 86.5. Lowest mark is an 81 in math. Gotta bring it higher! I want a final average of some where near 90. Tomorrow I have a day off school, yay. Maybe I should study. I don't do that enough... Yeah I should. And I'll play guitar too. Maybe draw. Oh yeah, I have to photoshop this logo for a club at school. It's such an honor. It'll probably be on their T-shirt. Maybe even with my name on it. I should exercise too. I doubt I'll do that though. I doubt I'll do anything I mentioned except for guitar. But having it written here might motivate me to get off my butt, and work harder. Yeah.

:) I saw Nick a bunch of times today, so that was good. :) I need to fix another thing though. I need to make our msn conversations more interesting. Half the time we just enter smiles or what not. I gotta practice my conversation skills too, I guess. I'll think up a bunch of things to talk about. And it's not that we don't click or anything. I'm just naturally not good at keeping up a conversation. People have to make such an effort to have a long going convo with me [unless they're super close]. So practicing on Nick will help me in more ways than just getting closer to him. Can't wait till tomorrow. I can sleep in. <3