After First Love

F4: Life-Changing D!ck

October 10th

Knox, Aged 16

Sex is...amazing. Truly, there's nothing like it. That feeling right before you orgasm when everything in your body tightens, it's all fucking amazing.

Only thing is, girls always see it as more than it is. You tell them you just want to hook up a few times, they agree, and after two nights they're calling you every day, packing you lunch, and acting like you saved their life or something. Actually, I don't mind the packed lunches, private boarding school girls always get really expensive food flown onto campus, it's all the clinginess that I can't handle.

I know my dick is memorable, but it's hardly life-changing.

I'm selling myself short. Of course, it's life-changing.

Thrusting into Tessa, a few more times, I come in the condom and pull out, taking it out and throwing it in the trash of the janitor's closet. Tessa slants against the wall, the smell of cleaning supplies being mixed with the smell of sex.

Her breasts hang out of the top of her shirt, where I unbuttoned the first few buttons and loosened her tie. Her little plaid skirt is bunched around her waist, revealing her soaked underwear.

I button my trousers and loop my belt before looking at her again, she's still panting like she ran a ten-mile marathon. My dick will do that to women sometimes.

"Get dressed. Lunch is almost over." My words come out sharp and they snap Tessa out of her orgasm-induced daze. It may make me look like a douche bag but if you want to maintain a strictly sexual relationship, cuddling is not the way to go.

I leave the janitor's closet in a haste and smoothen out my hair. A quickie is just what I need before the next period. And don't judge me on doing it in the janitor's closet, there isn't a diverse list of options for fornication when you attend a very secure private school.

I choose to walk through the campus instead of inside, to enjoy the view, the weather, and the greenery on site. Definitely not to watch the cheerleaders practice for a few minutes.

As predicted, they're there. All in their little uniforms, being all cheery and things. But I'm not there for all of them, just for one.

At first glance, and after several interactions, Nevaeh is definitely not your first pick to be a cheerleader. She's not cheery, she's not flexible, and she hates to exercise, but she still does it. She sings those ridiculous chants that get the team's blood pumping during a game. Somehow those chants make our school mascot seem less embarrassing. I mean peacocks, really. We're the students of Langley Hall, one of the most prestigious schools in the states, and our mascot is the peacock.

As if public school kids needed more ammo to hate on, and ridicule us; our mascot has an expletive in its name.

The cheerleading team has a choreographer, but it doesn't look like she's here today. A real shame because she's hot.

Nevaeh is doing some stretches, sitting on the grass, extending her leg, and arching to touch it.

These short cheerleading outfits really do come in handy, but I have to be careful about eyeing Nevaeh so much since we decided to be just friends.

I have to say, that decision has been working out well for me, for both of us really. I'm not tied down by a relationship that I'll eventually fuck up, and she's not with someone who will eventually break her heart. Because let's face it, love, or like, just never works out. There are always complications, traps, just waiting to come to light. Those just aren't the things they show at the end of crappy rom coms.

I saw it with my parents. The warmest type of love turned into years of abuse, cheating, and indignance. Finally ending in divorce.

I don't know how Nevaeh sees me and I don't know when I started seeing her like I do now. We were okay before, we were friends, and then a few months after my parents' divorce hit, we were suddenly a little bit more. But that 'little bit' never became 'a lot'. It had the chance to, the night we made out, but...we all remember how that turned out. The years and months leading up to our kiss were steady and gradual, there was no initial sign that she didn't have the same feelings for me that I had for her.

Thankfully rejection helps the heart, and dick, find their way into other places. Maybe not the heart, just the dick. And the fact that when we go home most weekends, she has to do photoshoots and work, helps a lot in keeping my mind off of her.

I'm about to leave when I hear a voice behind me.

"Leaving so soon? Do I look that terrible in this uniform?" She takes a swig of water from her humongous bottle and raises her eyebrow.

"If you must know, you look terrible." I stuff my hands in my pockets and look at her, tilting my head.

She fakes being wounded and scoffs, "You look worse." She surveys me and her face falls a little before putting on an expression disturbingly close to disgust. She pushes a strand of her hair out of her eyes and tucks it sloppily into her ponytail. "Did you have fun with Tessa?"

I shift my head and look down at my feel ashamedly, before rolling my tongue in my mouth and looking at her, "Nevaeh-"

She puts a hand up, "No, no. I don't want to hear it. It's none of my business who you fuck. But it is my business how you spend your time, and hooking up with Tessa and getting shitfaced every weekend is not a valuable use of it."

"Yea but I'm not sneaking off-campus or getting wasted right now, I'm having fun. And if that fun just happened to involve my penis then, well..." I shrug, and once again, like she does repeatedly in all of our conversations, she scoffs.

Plus I can't have too much booze during football season. Coach would kill me if I had a hangover on game day. He's still trying to convince me to go pro after high school and I seriously believe he will have a heart attack one day while trying to do so. I just don't see myself going pro. I'll be all high and mighty until an early retirement or severe injury comes along.

Snickers arise from the cheerleaders and Nevaeh looks mortified, "You're a pig, Knox."

"But you love me. You know you do." I reach out my hands for a hug and shimmy close to her. She shrieks and steps back.

"Stop, stop! You probably smell like sex and Theresa's cheap perfume." She says her words in a whisper before moving back towards her group and waving as she does so.

"Vaeh wait."

She turns back to look at me, "Yeah?"

"So you're not going to Homecoming this weekend are you?"

"I have a job in New York, I won't be able to, which sucks cause I already bought my dress."

"Yeah. That sucks."

I make my way back to class, making sure to spruce myself up in the bathroom. Tessa already runs her mouth about us hooking up, I don't need to look like it too. It's not one of my proudest endeavours.

In a way, I'm relieved that Nevaeh and I will remain platonic because then I keep her as a friend. A friend, who, even with our crossroads, eventually everything comes to a straight line. She makes it all simpler. I make it a hundred times more difficult.

*****

Word Count: 1242

*Edited*

Knox, baby, we've all been friend zoned before, you can do this. We're all supporting you.

Vote and comment <3

- Willa J.

20/2/2022