Chapter 36: How to Move On

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The sunlight shown over Ringneck creek, the late Indian summer heat was warm in LeMoyne and the grass swayed under the light breeze. I put my arm over Jessamine's shoulder as we stood back from the small grave in front of us. Aurora would love this. She turned and buried her face into my chest and began to sob.

"Shh... It's okay Jessa, she's okay."

"She was too damn young Edward. Eighteen, she was fucking eighteen." She cried, I patted her hair and held her close.

"Aurora wouldn't want us to cry for her, love." I said in a shaky voice, trying to hold it together for her. We'd lost so many people in the last year and it was starting to take its toll. 

After a while we both sat up in our saddles and rode across Scarlett Meadows. We'd been out here for a couple of days burying Aurora and visiting Sean MacGuire's grave. Thanks to a letter and a sketch Jessamine received from Arthur Morgan, we knew where Sean was laid to rest near Clemons Point. A pretty little place by the lake, where the sun shines just right making all around him look gold. As we rode away, the evening sunset gave way to rain and dark skies...

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I feel so confused, I don't know who or what I am anymore. Am I going crazy? It's all my fault. This is all my damn fault. Foolish boy. Idiot. 

My tears began to dry up and my chest felt like it would cave in. I rubbed my face and laid still in the hotel room bed in Valentine trying to shake the nightmare from my thoughts. Jessamine and I got here late last night, much to her upset. I hated to have to keep returning to this awful town with her. Morning light was just barely peeking through the windows from behind the mountains. Jessamine rolled over in her sleep and laid her head on my chest, her arm lazily draped over my stomach. I sighed and just looked at her, memorizing her face. Her black hair was messy and unkempt around her face, framing her freckled cheeks and small nose. Her slender, scarred body was pressed tight against me, and I couldn't help but stare at the ring on her hand. My future bride... 

She stirred a little and I kissed her forehead, lightly stroking her back until she began to stir. 

"Good morning Jessamine." 

"Hm? Good morning Edward." She mumbled and curled closer to me like a cat. 

"Flower if you move any closer I'm going to fall off this bed." I chuckled. She smiled in her half awake state. 

The pair of us lazily got up and dressed for the day. We had another long day of traveling to make it back to Blackwater and didn't have time to wait around. I watched as she threw her hair messy plait that draped over her shoulder and flashed me a smile. The pair of us walked down the stairs of the hotel and out the front door to get our horses from the stables. Torrun and Mani whinnied at us from their stalls. 

"Alright girls we're coming!" I called to them. Jessamine grabbed her saddle from a hook and climbed into the stall where Mani was. 

"Hi pretty girl!" She said, patting her mare's mane. It didn't take us long to get out on the road west especially with a quick pace. 

We reached the Dakota river and stopped near Bard's Crossing at around nine that morning and stopped off for a quick breakfast. I tossed Jess an apple from my bag and brewed some coffee over a small fire. The air was warm still in this Indian summer. It wouldn't be long until the days were back to cold winter weather. While we drank our coffee Jessamine lamented over the fact that with all the struggles we'd missed my birthday. 

"Darlin' it don't matter to me much. Just another day." I smiled.

"I know. I just wish that things could have been better." She rolled her eyes at me and sighed.

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