STRANGER, jesper fahey

CHAPTER TWELVE

"What do you want?"

It was hard to feel remorseful when there was blood on her clothes, was hard to think about the wasted morality of the guards and the servants that were merely canon fodder in her execution with Nobles, was hard to think about her brother when all her mind was screaming about was the crimson stains brushing against her skin. It didn't even help that she knew that there was a layer of fabric between her mortal flesh and the red sin of blood that her hands had taken, because Gwen could feel the thick wet patches that just made her want to be sick, to curl in on herself, to shout until her throat was raw.

Perhaps if she hadn't spent so long throwing up at the so called Slat, she'd still have some lining in her stomach, something akin to substance so she could actually allow herself to be sick in the corner of an alleyway or something...however, she knew that if she did start heaving, all that would be coming out of her parched lips would be howls and cries, rising from her mouth to haunt the night alongside all of the other unfortunate souls of the world.

She clenched her gloved hands into trembling fists, taking deep steady breaths, trying desperately not to think about the disgusting feeling of blood on her clothes, seeping into skin like it belonged there as she made her way home, dancing in and out of alleyways as the cold breeze forced the loose fabric of her shirt to wrap even further around her like an embrace threatening to ruin whatever semblance of sanity she still had left, pushing herself further, walking quicker with a limp to her step, wondering if the pain she felt was from her wounds or her grief as it continued to mount like the storming seas.

And when Gwen finally reached the...well, finally reached her home that was looking rather bare and damaged, like it had been looted or something with the glass of her windows smashed and door lying in pieces at her feet, she couldn't help but feel relief cool in her stomach like cold air on a summers day, swiftly stumbling inside and rushing straight over to the basin of water that she kept in the kitchen, quick to tear off her gloves and plunge her stained hands into the water frantically, scratching away at her flesh as if she could peel the sinful and dirty layers off one at a time, whimpering quietly under her breath much to her own frustration.

However, just as she was about to pull her clothes from her mortal corpse and plunge herself into the water as a whole...her ear suddenly pricked forcing her to freeze carefully, turning her head just slightly so she could hear better, the steady thuh-thump, thuh-thump, thuh-thump of a beating heart echoing around the silence of her home, quiet and calm and far too loud to be scruffy or some other unfortunate animal wandering in to her humble abode. No, whoever was here was human, quite possibly, a human with a death wish as she slowly lowered her palms to rest on the edge of the basin with a quiet sigh.

"If you're here to steal from me, then by all means try it...most have died for less." She said quietly, sinfully calm as she stared down at her reflection in the waters below, watching the way it shifted and rippled, distorting her features until she looked wrong, until she looked twisted and almost monstrous. Perhaps it would be easier if she did look like that, perhaps it would be easier if she looked as vile on the outside as she did on the inside, maybe then it wouldn't be so hard to convince herself that she didn't deserve any good because she'd only ruin it with her cruel hands.

"There's nothing of worth for me to steal."

The voice came from behind her, hidden in the shadows as if he belonged there, a rough and cruel sounding thing that she recognised instantly as she dropped her shoulders and released the breath she hadn't known she was truly holding before she turned around, grabbing a rather ratty looking cloth from the counter to start drying her bloodied hands as her dark gaze lifted up to stare into his own almost tiredly while exhaustion and agony clawed at her like thick claws of temptation. "I take it the wraith found me then? Only took her a couple of hours, colour me impressed."