Catastrophe | JIKOOK ✔

CHAPTER 25

This chapter contains depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-harm so if you are young and easily triggered, skip this or maybe find some suitable story

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Third Person

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It was still 6 in the morning when Jimin woke up in his sleep. After waking up early, he didn't move even a little. He was just staring at the wall blankly, lost in his own thoughts. There are so many things that are coming to his mind.

When he is in a vulnerable state or a depressed state, flashbacks of the past pop into his messy head.

He touched his neck and chest.

He remembers the reason why he was afraid to be touched there: his father. When he touches him there, he fights and begs not to do that to him, but he isn't heard.

After that night happened, it happened every day until he reached the age of 13.

When he accidentally touched there, he flinched, trembled, and had a panic attack. His father is to blame for all of his tribulations. Every time he tries to take his own life, he can't since there is always an igniting hope in his heart, reminding him that there still hope in everything and that a miracle will happen soon. He let that hope live in his heart, not in his own life.

But now!

He felt like dying.

He let the tears roll over his cheeks, wetting his pillowcase. Salty tears were touching his puffy and wounded face.

The blonde was starting to feel depressed again and his suicidal thoughts were coming out again. He is depressed when he is lonely and alone and has no one to talk to. He wants to text or maybe call Jungkook to hear his voice, but he remembers that he doesn't have his phone number.

A bitter chuckle escaped from his lips.

Even right now, luck wasn't on his side. He just wants to hear the ravenette's sweet and innocent voice to make him calm and not depressed.

Jungkook was his medicine and cure.

He wiped the tears using the back of his hand before he got up from his lying position. He was planning to go to the C.R to do something.

Die Jimin

Kill yourself.

No one wants you.

Harm yourself.

His head was messing with him again. His suicidal thoughts were there again.

"No"

He mumbled to himself.

Pathetic

Jimin, you are pitiful.

He shook his head.

I can't hurt myself. I need to hear Jungkook's voice. "

See, you are still pathetic that Jeon boy doesn't like you. You are a loser, so kill yourself already.

"No, that is not true."

You are just messing with my head. Everything you said is not true. "You are a liar."

Then, harm yourself now. Slit your wrists already so that your miseries will end.

He goes to the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror. He saw his face had lots of wounds and had a black eye in two eyes. There is dried blood everywhere. His shirt was torn and dirty. His blonde locks were messy and tangled.

"I'm really pathetic."

I told you.

A sad smile crept on his plump lips.

He combed his messy hair using his left hand. He looked at the cabinet that is on the side and it was half-open. He saw the razor and the blade that was placed neatly inside.

Get it now!

He slowly walked into the closet and grabbed the razor and blade. When he is finally holding it, he is trembling slightly, and teardrops in his eyes. He caresses the two things he is holding.

It took him a minute to stare at the things he was holding before he created big and small slashes on his wrists. His wrist was bleeding non-stop. He loved it when he slutted his wrist and sometimes his thighs until he bled. It made him numb from the pain. He let the blood drop on the floor. The faucet was open, the water flowing together with the blood that was coming out of his wrist.

That is right, Jimin.

Do more.

Make a deep cut on your wrist.

No one cares.

He is satisfied. He doesn't feel pain anymore. He feels numb. He looked at the blood that was mixing with the water.

After he cut himself, he stripped to wash up. He was in the cold shower and he saw his stomach had black and bluish bruises. It stings when the water touches his wounded body, but he didn't flinch nor move much. Just let the water wash all the dried blood from his body. He is watching the waterfall on the cold floor. Together with the water, a tear was falling too.

You are crying again.

You are just showing how pathetic you are.

He just let those voices in his head call him pathetic because he was crying. He didn't care. He was just crying. All he has done since he was young is cry and beg, but no one listens to him or helps him.

He is the only one helping himself.

Jimin hugged himself under the cold shower while crying and sobbing. No one was hearing him cry since his father was still not coming home.

After his long shower in the bathroom, he started to dry himself using the blue towel. Before he got dressed, he put some ointment on his bruises. He also bandaged his wrists. After treating himself, he put the first aid kit in its right place.

When he got dressed, he lay again on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, thinking about happy thoughts to avoid his suicidal thoughts and the voices messing up with him.

He started to think of his sweet and innocent moments with Jungkook. The way he kissed the younger's nose and forehead, the way he piggy-backed him, the way they fed each other a cake, the way Jungkook kissed his boo-boo so that the pain would go away.

Those little moments gave Jimin hope, and the things they made were good thoughts and good memories for him that he will cherish until he dies.

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I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

- Love lots