Light Years

Burn This Out

.............Eager to please..............

...Trying to be what they need...

..........But I'm so very tired..........

.....I've stopped trying to find.....

.......Any peace in my mind.......

..Because it tangles the wires..

-------------Harry-------------

I didn't see Louis that night, nor did I expect to. According to the twitter update that my phone had received, Louis was out on a date with Eleanor. From the second glance that I regretted giving the notification, he was at Rosso's, our date place. 

Originally, this fact had made me a bit depressed and I had even thought of sending an accusatory message to him containing all of the aggravation and tension that weighed my shoulders down. However, that was prior to getting out of the cab with Nick and prior to the rum that was warming my insides.

The music drummed through my system, drowning any coherent thoughts that the alcohol hadn't already threatened into submission as I sat at the bar. Nick was somewhere in the middle of all of the dancing and sweaty clubgoers and I didn't have the intention of joining him at the moment. 

Just breathe, Harry, I told myself as I stared into the depths of my coppery drink. You're supposed to be having fun, moving on.

A set of slender finger tips settled on my hips as a soft voice whispered over my shoulder, "Harry, right?"

I didn't move at first, "Yeah."

"Come dance with a birthday girl, yeah?" she spoke lowly, her breath cooling my cheek. Her fingers slipped through the loops of my jeans and tugged me gingerly from the stool. 

"Happy birthday," I mumbled through the basses shaking beats. 

Her hazel eyes met mine as she tugged me into the mass of bodies. The heat singed through my clothes and warmed my skin unpleasantly. Everyone was too close, too uncontrolled. Every bit of my being begged to pull away from this girl, to stumble back to my bar stool or even to Nick, where ever he was. 

I shifted closer to her, leaning my face toward her ear and keeping my hands safely away from her. "What's your name?" I shouted over the music.

A smile quirked the edges of her pink lips as she titled her head, "Can't really care about that, can you?" Her breath was sweet against my cheek, sticky with some fruitful drink.

"Just a pleasantry," I replied. 

Her hands were chilled against the fabric of my button up as she swayed to the song that I couldn't bear to listen to, "You'll do a birthday girl a pleasantry, won't you Harry?"

My shoulders tensed and my mind slipped away from the rum induced haze in a moment of clarity. Harry, I tried to reason with myself. Maybe this is what you need. Relax, let it happen. "No, no, no..." I mumbled out hurriedly, feeling the panic rising into my chest. "I'm gay, I'm sorry."

Her mascara laced stare never faltered as she peered at me through her bangs, "My friend says you shagged her sister."

"I've done a lot of things that I shouldn't have," I bit the inside of my cheek with anxiety filling my insides. Grimmy where are you?

She tilted her head blandly, "Like ruining someone's day? You're lying to yourself Styles and you've wasted my time." 

"Love, honestly, he isn't much for blondes anyway," a voice crawled over my shoulder as a warm hand  palmed flatly at my hip. "Unless you count Caroline but she had the age factor as well. I think you're a bit more on the young side for dear Harold."