I Am You (Please Don't Leave Me)

Chan had always been a bit sad.

It had gotten worse at some point, not finding any will to just wake up.

What was the point of waking up if there was nothing to do all day ? No one to see ? What was the point of eating or even showering ? He was alone and no one would even see him. It wasn't like someone wanted to see him anyway.

His thoughts always ran wild, staring at the ceiling, unable to find in him to just stand up and go on with his day.

What's the point ?

"Chan hyung ! Wake up !"

Chan instinctively smiled, looking at Jisung coming in loudly by slamming the door open with an exaggerated frown. "Hyung ! You didn't even wash up ? Hurry up, Minho hyung's gonna grill us otherwise !"

Chan laughed aloud as he sat, grinning happily, his heart bursting warmly, "Sorry sorry, I'll go."

But now that he found back his childhood friends- and possibly more, he might have a reason to wake up every morning.

"How do you feel today ?"

Chan glanced at Seungmin, already knowing what he meant, "I'm neutral I guess, but I'll be happier if I could cuddle with you," he blinked innocently at him and Seungmin rolled his eyes. They were sitting on the couch, watching a movie, the others were nowhere to be found.

"Stop using your charms on me," He retorted, but still opened his arms for him to snuggle against him on the couch, Chan giggling happily.

He buried his face on his chest, sighing in satisfaction when the tender smell of citrus and books filled his nose. "You do know that I'll always be happy with all of you, right ?" he couldn't help but ask, feeling Seungmin's hand passing through his hair.

"Sorry for... losing contact like that."

Chan lifted up his head to find Seungmin's gaze, remorseful and sad. "Hey," he called softly, "it's completely fine, you all had your lives and beside you're always squatting here now," he playfully poked his cheek but Seungmin wasn't having that.

"Only now, that's the problem," he retorted, "if I knew you would've gone through that, we all would've stayed with you," He added weakly and Chan's gaze softened.

"It's not something you could've known, and I'm happy now, everything's in the past Seungminie," He uttered with tender eyes, ruffling his hair and making him take a shaky breath. "and now we have all the time in the world."

Seungmin took a deep breath to calm his need to cry, nodding slowly, "Right, and we'll make sure to catch up," he finished, Chan smiled brighter.

Chan had been sad in his life. For months, or maybe years. He didn't really remember, as if his mind would blur when he tried to think about it.

He knew the principal reason was losing contact with his closest friends, his family. But he didn't even remember how they lost contact. One day after an accident, he had come back from the hospital to his flat, finding it empty.

Completely cold and soulless.

Not a word, not a text or even a call.

Just gone.

As if he was never important to them like they were to him. As if his life was just a trash they picked up on their way to throw later.

And no matter how many times he tried calling them, no one ever answered.

Chan's heart turned to ashes that day.

Chan had noticed.

Hyunjin had changed.