Should I stick around for a while?

What now?

                                         'What now?' rings in my head as I stare at the bills spread out in front of me. It ranges from college tuition to rent for this apartment and every utility bill in between. 

               I have been putting it off for a while, trying to focus on my classes and busying myself with my part-time job. But 'What now?' I ask myself again. I knew I would need money so I saved up as much as I can but no one ever warned me about the scams on my college websites. I was supposed to be a TA for this fancy 'professor' but how did that lead to all my college savings ending with $0.00.

               My head spins from the pure anger and hatred toward that bastard of a motherhecker. If I ever see this guy, I will make sure to skin him alive!!!

              And there's no way in hell am I  going to drop out of my school and work 18 hours a day. I know it is not going to be worth it in the long run so I suck up my feelings and pick out the business card that I've tucked deep into my purse. "Improve Lives Through Surrogacy," It says in big bold letters across the card. I sigh deeply knowing what I am going to do will change the rest of my life. 

        I've heard stories about how surrogate mothers love doing their jobs. They love giving priceless gifts to families that are not able to experience parenthood. They enjoy nurturing the babies in their bellies and love making a difference in the world one baby at a time. Not to mention, the paycheck they get with fully paid apartments. More than enough to cover my scam and my future college tuition. 

              My shaky hands pick up my phone and dial the number on the card, all while repeating to myself It's okay. Get the pregnancy over with, take the paycheck and go. No harsh feelings. Just do it to survive. SURVIVE.  

                     A few dials of 'Duu.....duu......du.......,' and my call is received by a gentle but kind voice saying "This is Dual Life Surrogate Agency, Donna speaking. How may I help you?"

           My voice comes out all horse and wrong speaking "Um.. yeah. Hi, I am Lorelai and I was just interested in the position of surrogate mother. I was wondering if I can set up a date with you guys for a consultation."

           Donna replies "Sure. Our office won't be available this weekend but will you be able to come in next Thursday? We can set you up with Dr. Garren for the consultation. It will be free of charge."

          I flip through my timetable for that day and see that I will be free after school. 
"Sweet. Can I come in at 4:00 pm that day? ". 

                  "Let me check," Donna replies and after a few clicking noises, comes out her voice saying "Yes, the Dr will be free at that time and would be perfect for a consultation. And also can you please bring your ID card, health insurance, and your medical reports from your yearly check-ups? That would be amazing." 

            "Great! Thank you, I'll see you on Thursday," With that, I end the call and slumps down on the floor in resignation. I feel defeated. Defeated that my life has turned out to be like this. Resorting to live off the money from surrogacy. Again I cursed the scammer with all the vile words I could think of. 

             I have 2 quizzes tomorrow and I want to keep up with my As. I study throughout the night until I pass out on the desk. 

               It's only 5 in the morning when the alarm goes off but I need to get ready for my morning shift. Only when I was washing my face did the whole surrogacy thing finally catch up to me. "Shit" I mutter to myself while I think about my future over and over again in different scenarios.