lights out | sukuna x male!reader

how is this supposed to help..?

"so, what's your type?"

"umm."

this is.. not what you had expected when nishimiya said she'd help you with your crush. yet there you were, seated in front of a two lesbians and a buff guy, the stupidly buff guy crossing his arms, and you forced yourself to stare at the floor, ignoring your dumb horny brain's alarms going off because ARMS ARMS MUSCLES ARMS BIG ARMS-

"uh.. i dunno.. i never really thought about it?" you scratched the side of your head, and he huffed in disapproval. "i just- umm, i guess someone that.. is nice?"

"i know your type, just say you like big men and go." nishimiya huffed, moving her head to mai's shoulder, who snickered, both of them grinning at how you squirmed awkwardly. why did you ask the lesbians for help, they were all bullies.

"that's not a bad answer." oh, okay then. "but it's still boring. everybody wants a big man in their life to be nice to them and take care of them."

"i don't." mai grimaced, as if disgusted by the thought of being with a man. "here, better question- ass or boobs?"

"depends on the gender."

"women." they both stared down at you, and you knew that if you answered wrong, your life would end. so you inhaled, staring back at them. 

"personally, i prefer thighs over anything- partially because they're nice pillows, partially because the bigger your thighs are, the more kittens you can hold on your lap." you started, their eyes widening in unison. "but i try not to think about women in that way- i'm not exactly.. uh, interested in them like that, but i know a nice pair of thighs when i see them."

"what the fuck," the black haired girl sighed, tilting her head back and thinking hard. "i'll accept that. momo?"

she nodded in agreement, turning to todou, who thought for a moment, before nodding, the two girls giving you a thumbs up. and then she hummed, squinting. "men, then?"

"uh," you wish your non-horny brain would work for once, but when given the question ass or boobs for men, that was really all you thought of, and it wasn't doing good things to your brain. "p.. personality?"

"l/n."

you winced, willing your brain to work for once, awkwardly making gestures with your hands as you stared at anything other than them. "b.. boob.."

"i called it." mai laughed, and nishimiya groaned in defeat, crossing her arms. "why, though?" you would rather die than talk about your want to bury your face in man-tiddies, so you just bit your lip, staying quiet, and her eyes widening, squinting. "nevermind, quit looking like that, i don't need to hear about some gay idiot's dream to be crushed by some guy's tits." you were being bullied by lesbians. could this day get any weirder.

"alright, so, we got that down- next, do you happen to have a praise kink?" nishimiya asked, and you choked on nothing, coughing as she grinned. "you give off those vibes. i know a lot of people who have no friends and are super touch-starved who absolutely melt over getting any praise."

"wh- what does me not having friends have to do with my praise kink?!" you yelped, before shutting your mouth, seeing her grin grow at your accidental reveal. "i- okay, yeah, so? everybody has some sort of praise kink, i'll bet! it's- it's nice being told you're doing a good job 'n stuff, and-"

"yeah, but most people don't get horny at being called a good boy." mai pointed at you, both of them grinning mischievously, and you stared at the floor in defeat, silently wishing you hadn't taken nishimiya's offer. this wasn't helping, this was bullying. "anyways, i think we've got it now."