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July, 2012
I can't keep going on like this. My thoughts and emotions are eating me alive.
I can't stop thinking.
I can't stop thinking about her.
Her every move has me going crazy.
Her smile.
Her laugh.
Her voice.
Her scent.
Her kindness.
Her aggressiveness.
Literally just everything.
I can't look at her like how I used to. Looking at her now gives me this feeling which I can't describe. How she calls my name and how beautiful it sounds when it rolls out of her mouth like shes singing some type of song.
Having a crush on her is an understatement. Maybe I'm just infatuated by her? Overall, she really is beautiful. Who wouldn't fall for a girl with a charm like Choon Hee's?
As I was kicking around the nearby rocks around me with my hands in my pockets, just walking in circles, I saw her figure from a distance, walking towards my direction.
Her hair blowing in the wind as she had her binders and books hugged close to her chest. She was just chatting and smiling with her friends but I just always get so mesmerized by her.
I literally sound like a psycho but why would I deny how I feel?
Maybe I am denying it.
Could it really be love that I'm feeling?
I clenched my teeth before I quickly took my bag from the side, which was leaned on the concrete wall and walked the opposite direction from her, turning my back before she could recognize me.
—
"Wonie!" Choon Hee, whisper-yelled as she poked my arm from the side. We were sitting in class and the teacher was just blabbing on about the World War and all.
I took a deep breath before turning my head over to her direction. "Hmm?" I hummed. I honestly tried my best to avoid her as much as I could.
But when she's right in front of me, I really can't bring myself to just dismiss her presence. Her presence is important to me.
I just don't want these weird emotions to grow bigger and bigger.
"Gosh you're so cold. Could you give me little bit more hype and life?" She sneered at me before she transferred her attention to the lesson being taught.
I licked my lips as I gulped. Would it hurt her if I was acting like this? Am I hurting her while playing up like this?
Probably not, right? I'm her best friend, nothing more.
