The High Five

Night Confessions

Milo insisted the crew get a good night's rest. The next day was going to be grueling, and they needed to be at their best. But sleeping was easier said than done.

Vivian, Tayen, and Jess all lay awake on their pallets. Jess was holding a glass globe with Vikki Landry standing on the surface of Mars. Now and then she would give it a shake, stirring up the red dust and watching it settle. The globe looked like a cheap knickknack from the station gift shop, but it was obviously special to her. Each crew member was only allowed three pounds of personal effects in addition to clothes and necessities. For herself, Vivian had chosen a limited edition Kieldorf cardigan, a golden cross necklace, and glittery, swirled nail polish she called "the galaxy in a bottle."

Tayen was flat on her back staring into the palm of her synth-hand as if lost in meditation. But wasn't meditation an eastern religion thing? What did Native Americans do to ground their thoughts? That would be a good question to ask the next time she had one on her stream. She had invited Tayen to participate, but she had staunchly refused.

Vivian reviewed the firsthand footage of the CME preparations. From the point she joined up with Jess, it was mostly useless. Competent execution wasn't very interesting. Who wanted to watch hours of knot-tying, bundle-toting, and kit-packing? It wasn't that she was embarrassed about her own cluelessness and ineptitude. Quite the opposite. Some more bungling was just what the feed needed. She had gotten so absorbed in the work she had forgotten to narrate, and voice-overs were never as good as in-the-moment remarks. Best to get a fresh start tomorrow.

Vivian rolled onto her side to face the other two women that made up the triangle. "I thought physical labor would be a lot easier without gravity," she said, "but I sure feel beat."

"Not like streaming, huh?" replied Tayen. "Real work really takes it out of you." Then, a moment later, "Sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that. I'm sure streaming can be draining in its own way."

"No offense taken. And yes, streaming can be nerve-wracking at times, although it's also energizing."

"I would rather clean a hundred ships than do a streaming sesh," Jess said. "Isn't it scary to speak in front of all those people? What if they don't like you?"

"There will always be haters. You have to grow a thick skin."

"Like the Hulk!" Jess said.

"Exactly," Vivian laughed.

"But how do you know what to say? There's no superhero power for that."

"It's all about mental preparation. You have to think about all the ways a conversation can go and map out the possibilities in your head. Then, when that spontaneous moment comes, you just pick a direction and go with it. You can't second-guess yourself."

"You're saying you have to prepare to be spontaneous?" Tayen said. "That sounds like a contradiction."

"Not at all. You rehearse and replay it over and over until it becomes second nature. The other important thing is to get into the right headspace. You have to be mentally on. You can't be at your best if you're feeling crummy or obsessing over what you did wrong the time before. It helps to have a routine, something that pumps you up and makes you feel like you can take on anything."

"What's your routine?"

"It's kind of embarrassing," Vivian said. "I blast My Love is a Bedtime Story by Fried Kraken. Then I apply a glam filter and jam like a teen pop star. When it gets to the part where the song goes, Inside my secret treasure box you'll find... I shout out something embarrassing like, I have a mad crush on Christopher Yuan! or I like to read bathroom graffiti! Once, my dad walked in on me so that was a bit awkward. I told him I was rehearsing for a monologue. After I've shouted out my secret, I know I have nothing left to fear. I'm ready. Bring it on, world!"