inside the mind of a killer

Inside the mind of a killer

Perspective writing

Lexi

I felt bored in class that day, like I always do. Nothing new happened. I was still stuck in my thoughts; my body was in the class yet my mind wasn't. the teacher asked a question and a girl with long brown hair in ponytail answered – Zia. Well, that wasn't surprising anyway since she was the "perfect" kid. She was good at studies, popular with everyone and was really pretty. I hated her. I think everyone has some adversities but she just seems so- seems so flawless. At the end I concluded that no one can be completely without flaws and if they showcase themselves that way it is the easiest way to decipher the fact that they are fake, pretending. I absolutely despise people like that – who put up a fake face to be seemingly perfect and make other people feel low without realizing it. People who pretend to have the perfect lives, perfect faces and the perfect mental health, it disgusted me. Zia, to me fit that exact description.

I tried to steer clear of her most of the times because there was no telling what I might have done if I ever had a normal conversation with her. No – I didn't just hate her, I wish there was a word to describe more than hate, more than any feeling of dislike. I didn't care about her at all, moreover I wouldn't put it past me to even try and hurt her. It isn't just the fact she pretends to be that perfect, she has another side, a side which is so dark, a side which is murderous. She never showed it to anyone, ever. No one knew either except probably me and she obviously didn't reveal it to me on purpose.

3 months ago

Zia lives in the house next to me and I often see her having friends over. That was all fine, since I didn't care at all about it. A few hours later after all her friends had left, she came out of her house with a slight smile on her face. I saw this from my window since it had a direct view of the entrance of her house. She held something in her hand, I wasn't able to see what it was but I could see a sharp end. She held her phone in one hand as she put in her headphone and began walking. I went to the living room of my house and began watching TV especially since I was bored. About 20 minutes later I went back to my room since I was bored of TV, just a baseless, pointless screen meant to enslave human minds and decrease attention span, it seemed like to me. I peered out of the window when I suddenly saw Zia coming back with a blank expression. The object was no longer in her hand as she walked back home and locked the door.

I didn't think much of it as I went down for dinner. That was it, the day was over. Another day of me not understanding the purpose of my existence. I went to bed at around 12 am after wishing my parents goodnight. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling wall, trying to fall asleep, trying to drift into another episode of dreams which were merely meaningless.

The next I woke up at my normal time and got dressed for school. I had a blank expression on my face as I ate my breakfast. I got onto the bus as I sat behind Zia. I could see her eyes had a dreamy look, as if she were not herself at all. Her blue eyes seemed bright and shining at the same time. She was talking to someone so she had a smile on her face but I noticed the moment that person left her expression changed into somewhat of disgust. Her school uniform was neatly carried. Her lips had a black tint and her nose had a rosy hint.

I turned my eyes away from her as a favor to myself as I dissolved in a book I was reading. I longed for a change, something different. I wanted my life to mean something to someone or in other words have some value to someone. I wanted to die knowing that I had saved at least one person or at the least made a difference in someone's life.

As we reached school that day, I noticed that Leila – one of the girls who had gone to Zia's house the last evening- wasn't in class. I shrugged it off though since she was known for bunking classes.