MCU x Reader!

Otto x Male!Reader

TW: This was requested and is about intrusive thoughts, has self harm mentions and gets a little heavy

It had been...difficult lately to keep your thoughts at bay. You did the breathing exercises, you counted to ten, you took stupid nature walks. They didn't go away and it was clawing at your brain while you worked. As if math wasn't hard enough the noise of the air conditioning was bothering you, and every time a car honked outside you jumped a bit. When was the last time you relaxed? Your phone rang but all it sounded like was alarms blaring in your ears. Throwing your pencil down you covered your ears and squeezed your eyes shut. The noises were so loud and your thoughts are getting louder. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Biting your tongue and waiting it out seemed like the only option. When you did open your eyes you saw that nearly an hour had passed. Where did the time go? Two missed calls from Otto. God, he must think I'm ignoring him. You pressed the phone to your ear,

"Otto?"

"Y/n, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just had my ringer off. What did you call for?"

"To remind you about dinner tonight? I'll pick you up in an hour handsome." Why did you lie? You felt hot under your skin and ran to get ready.

Fuck! Nothing looked good. I look like shit, god he's gonna hate me. What if he knows I lied about my ringer being off?  Stomping your feet you sat down. Tears welled and you sighed, why was it so easy for everyone else? It didn't feel like other guys went through this. Other guys were strong and capable, and you were moping on the floor like a toddler. You picked at the carpet with your nails and tried to block out everything. If you could just focus on anything else you would be okay for tonight. I'm fine, I'm fine,

Otto was waiting outside for you. You both had this night planned for awhile. It was hard to see each other with work. But it was getting late and Otto was worried about his boyfriend. Opening the door he walked up the steps,

"Y/n?" On the other side of the door things only got worse. Stupid fucking idiot! No wonder he doesn't love you, you can't even pull yourself together for one night! Angered swelled and you looked up at yourself in the mirror. Yelling you punched it and watched as your reflection shattered and fell to the floor. The door bursted off it's hinges and Otto ran in,

"What's wrong? Did someone hurt you!?" Oh, he looked so pretty in his suit. You ruin everything don't you?

"I'm fine!"

"Y/n..." He stared down to where blood was dripping on the broken glass. His eyes filled with hurt,

"Did you do this to yourself?" He reached forward for you and touched your shoulder startling you. Stumbling back you slipped and landed on your ass. That's when it all came crashing down,

"I just wanna be good for you! I can't do anything you can, y-you need someone smart and-" The actuators picked you and laid you on the bed softly. Otto sat down. Engulfing you in a hug you felt surrounded. Not in a bad way, your breathing was still ragged and you were most definitely bleeding on his suit,

"You are the most wonderful and caring man I know. And I understand that's hard for you to realize, but I'm always going to be here. You're not a burden. I'm choosing to be with you because I love you y/n." He held you tightly and kissed your forehead,

"Let's clean you up."