Last Hope (Soukoku)

Spring Madness

Chapter 3

Chuuya was very happy that he successfully a made a good friend. Dazai can be a lifelong friend if he stays at Chuuya's good side. But Chuuya could say that Dazai might be a good soul but his kindness is the result of the sheer pain that he has faced at this tender age. Chuuya knew because he saw himself in Dazai, as if he is looking into a convex mirror, not the exact picture but pretty much the same. The way Dazai talks with his friends, Oda and Angou,
reveals that he does trust them but still linger at a distance. He
masks his expressions so well and is always so stiff with revealing
his true pain that suggests that he hasn't shared the most important part with anyone (Chuuya concluded it because Dazai mentioned that Oda is his best friend while Oda don't know what
is wrong with Dazai though he does know that something /is/
wrong).

Chuuya decided that he will help Dazai and would stay in touch
with him even after he is off to Aomori.

Poor soul didn't knew what is coming next...... something that will trigger and would leave a
scar forever and ever, like Ella Wheeler Wilcox said in her poem
life's scar:-

But, soon or late, the fact grows plain

To all through sorrows test

The only folks who give us pain,

Are those we love the best.

Chuuya, while ascending the staircase, was telling Dazai about his girlfriend who happens to be his roommate. He was proud to say that they have been together for a year now. Chuuya may and may not have noticed Dazai's smiles being more forced than genuine and his features slightly drooping. Chuuya stopped talking about Yasuko if it is anything to go by. Who knows how many people have played with the brunette's feelings or even if anyone has......

Chuuya reached to the handle of the sliding door and pushed it
open. Chuuya was shocked to see that Yasuko was sitting on the tatami cushion and was scribbling something on a washi. The bad feelings that had been creeping on his skin started flooding in. 'At least not in front of him', he thought.

She craned her head to the door as soon as Chuuya opened it and came running towards him and said, "Chuuya, thanks heaven you returned, or else I was beginning to think I am going to bid you farewell through a paper"

Dazai was shocked - but also very happy, no delighted-  by her statement. It felt as if lady luck has grown to like him. As per for Chuuya..........

His sapphire eyes were open wide with shock as he sharply inhaled
the chilly cozy air inside. For Chuuya expected this, he somehow managed to control the tears that were welling inside his tear duct and were urging to come out. His heart was contracting inside, but he restrained himself from putting his hand on his chest. Till yesterday, he has read that it is very painful when your heart contract from pain, which he thought was only a myth, but now that it is more tangible he thinks he can write a hundred poems about it without repeating the same thing over and over.

Chuuya didn't held up his wilted head and with a sad smile he said,

"Why did you came to tell me, you could have just left you know"

"Oh yes I could! But... I just wanted to see how much stuff is there to carry. I forgot to tell you I have been at Kobayashi's and would stay there from now on"

Now Chuuya, Dazai as well, wondered if Yasuko is saying this on purpose: to tear Chuuya's poor, already torn, heart apart. Whether or not, the weight of it was crushing Chuuya like tomato is squished beneath watermelon.

With a bitter smile Chuuya said with blunt politeness, "Now that
you have seen, you can go. Kobayashi must be waiting for you at the station"

"How do you know he is here?", asked she, baffled as if Kobayashi knew none other than her. As if he didn't have friend to spend time with other than her.