Lost and Afraid

Chapter 3

I looked back over to Jake. His expression was heartbroken. He looked like he would at any second break down crying. I on the other hand, was a different story, I already was crying. Here's the thing about how I cry, it's quiet. We must've made quite the scene at the moment. Two teenagers, the boy being shirtless, crying in the middle of the street. As if reading my mind, Jake pulled himself together and held my hand to walk us to the bridge where we hang out.

No one besides us really knew about the bridge. It's not really a bridge at all actually. A few years before we came to this foster home there were some kids who decided to build a treehouse/fort sort of thing. The grass around the area was mostly dead and it looked like a homeless person would sleep because it was pretty much using a concrete wall as a stand. Me and Jake found it one day, trying to find a place to smoke without getting caught. The way it's shaped is similar to a rainbow or a bridge. And even though there wasn't water close by, we would still call it the "bridge". Ever since that one day nearly two years ago, me and Jake would come here to just hang out and smoke. Now was different, it was more serious.

My lips were still slightly quivering when we reached the bridge but luckily I stopped the tears and now was left with just a stuffy nose. Jake pulled me into his arms and his shoulders were shaking and I could tell he was crying. As he held me closer, new sobs racked my body and tears began streaming down my face all over again. Finally after who knows how long we pull away and I sniffle before laughing and saying, "What a bunch of crying babies we are." He laughed as well and we sat down. He held me until we both calmed down a bit.

Jake took a deep breath and said, "Well I think we deserve a smoke!"

I laughed, wiping the last of my tears away then saying, "I think we really do. But maybe a drink as well?"

"Oh course."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We took a bus to the closest bar after stopping by the drugstore for some cigarettes. Luckily Jake and I's outfits were fine for the bar as neither were too dressy or too under-dressed. It just so happened that I was wearing my short black skirt and a V-neck black tee while Jake wore denim jeans and his leather jacket. For now we were ignoring the conversation about the adoption, it was too real for us. So instead we drank.

"ID?", asked the bartender. We took out our fake ID's that have never seemed to fail us yet. Either that is pure luck or maybe they are simply really good. The bartender checked them over and nodded, handing them back to us. "Can I just get a vodka on the rocks?" I asked and Jake said, "Yeah one for me too."

When we got our drinks we downed them as fast as we could and ordered up another round. Round after round after round we drank until we couldn't taste what we were drinking. Finally a few hours later we stumbled out onto the street and caught a bus to the drugstore. From there we dizzily walked on the broken down road to where we temporarily lived. As if thinking better of it me and Jake stumbled past the houses and kept going in search of the bridge. We hadn't gone to the bridge at night so it was a little more difficult, not to mention that we were also piss drunk.

Walking to the bridge was hard while drunk and I almost tripped and landed on my face from a stump I didn't see. Jake held me and we giggled as we looked for the bridge. We finally saw it and practically ran there in the excitement of who knows what. But as we neared closer to the bridge we realized that no matter how drunk we would get, there was really no escaping the gravity of the situation.

I sunk to the ground, leaning against the wall with my head laid upon Jake's shoulder. He put his arms around me and I felt his chin as he rested it on the top of my head. "We were going to have to face it one day you  know?" I sighed and he nodded. The complexity and seriousness of the conversation made us sober up right away. Suddenly I felt like crying again. As if having a sixth sense Jake held me closer and whispered, "Don't worry about it Amber, we'll find a way to get through this. I promise."

It still didn't make me feel any better, if anything it made me more upset. After all, every promise made to me has always been broken. And I know it will never be okay.