By the Riverside

16: To Whom We Tie the Knot

MY FATHER ONCE told me that dates are ideal when my partner takes me somewhere special, or when he spends thousands of pesos just to please me, or when he showers me with gifts and promises me a future. I used to believe him then, but now I ought to disagree. Dates are ideal when you feel content being with your partner. It doesn’t matter how simple it was, or even if both of you refused to spend a penny, or even if both of you are aware of the uncertainties of your future. As long as you’re happy, it’s ideal.

This epiphany hit me as I was hugging a bowl of popcorn, a new Disney movie was playing on the television screen, and John’s head resting on my lap. Sinusubuan ko siya ng popcorn na gawa ko habang seryoso akong nanonood sa palabas. He wasn’t even watching the movie; he was watching me.

“Are you sure you’re fine just watching movies on your day-off? I can take you out on a date, you know? Don’t mind the money,” aniya habang pinapaikot-ikot sa daliri ang dulo ng buhok ko.

“You’ve already spent a lot for those date ideas of yours. Besides, we need to do this more often—just watching movies and stuff,” sagot ko naman, hindi pa rin tinatanggal ang atensyon sa pinapanood. “Pero ikaw? Do you want to go somewhere else? I’m actually fine with whatever.”

“Nah. I’m also fine with whatever,” he said in an almost inaudible voice, “as long as I’m with you.” Bumaling ako sa kanya saglit at nakitang malapad na ang ngiti sa mga labi niya.

Naramdaman kong nag-iinit ang pisngi ko kaya nag-iwas ako ng tingin at nanood muli. Goodness, we’ve already been together for months yet I still couldn’t get used to his corny banters. Kailan nga ba ako masasanay kay John? Darating pa kaya ang araw na masasanay ako sa kanya?

He asked for popcorn so I handed some straight to his mouth. Seryoso lang akong nanonood at ninanamnam ang pelikula. Nakakahiya pa nga dahil may punto sa movie na naiyak ako, kaya umupo si John at pinahid ang luha ko. Hindi ko alam kung inaalo niya ba ako o inaasar, dahil pagkatapos niyang pahirin ang luha ko ay tumawa siya.

“We’re too old na pala for Disney films, huh? Look who’s crying cutely now?” aniya at pinisil ang pisngi ko.

Umirap ako at tinapik ang kamay niya. “Ba’t ba kasi gumagawa ng ganitong palabas ang Disney? Akala ko ba pambata lang ˋto? Ba’t parang may personal na pag-atake sa ˋkin?”

Tumawa siya at inakbayan ako. He pulled me closer to him and urged my head to rest on his shoulder. Dudukot pa sana ako ng popcorn pero ubos na iyon. I sighed and then put down the bowl.

“Why would you even cry? Ang cute nga ng kanta ni Luisa,” aniya at hinaplos ang ulo ko.

“I just . . . can relate to her, you know?” I sighed. “Carrying too much responsibility on my shoulders as the eldest daughter of my family, I should be stronger to face every burden.”

He kissed my temple and then agreed. Nakapako na muli ang mga mata ko sa palabas pero nasa katabi ko na ang atensyon ko.

“You don’t have to carry them all alone now that I’m here, Victoria,” he whispered as he kept kissing my head. “I’ll share your burdens.”

“I could say the same to you, you know that?” tanong ko sabay taas ng kilay. Hanggang ngayon kasi, nararamdaman ko pa rin sa kanya na may itinatago siya sa akin. I still feel like he was trying to shoulder a big problem by himself.

But John being John, humalakhak lang siya at umiling. “Oh, just focus on the movie. Surely, you’ll relate to someone again on the latter part.”

I sighed in defeat. “Ilang beses mo na bang napanood ˋto?” I asked, my eyes narrowed into slits. Kung makapagsalita kasi siya kanina pa ay parang alam niya na ang lahat ng mangyayari sa pelikula.