Since the time the news reached her ears,she felt something heavy upon her heart.Something slipped like sand from her hands,from her,something which was very precious to her,something which forced her to change herself.It was not like she was very unhappy or something,no,she could not be so cruel,she will not let herself be so cruel again.
She was a young,immature 21 year old girl back then,she made mistakes,some small,some grave,she was betrayed,she tried to hurt him with the same intensity,she forgot some beautiful things in the process,their friendship,their bond,their love,Him.
Looking out through the window,she noticed that it has stopped raining and it was drizzling softly.The frangrance of wet soil hit her nostrils making her feel nostalgic.The cuckoo was chirping merrily on the thick branch of that old banyan tree.It looked at her with a tinge of uncertainity and flew away into the vast stretch of blue land.
She was left alone again,and the radio her father gifted her recently,was the only mode of relief she had in her life,a life full of mistakes and regrets.
She switched on the radio and the music started playing on it,and ahe felt as if it was reflecting her inner thoughts and turmoil,as if it was made for her
Chitthi ye,dard firaaq waaliye
Leja leja sandesa sone yaar da,
O leja leja sandesa sone yaar da
Tenu vaasta hai dil di pukaar da
Leja leja sandesha sone yaar da
'Chitthi,haan,ek chitthi toh likh hi sakti hoon,use itna bura bhi nahi lagega'
She thought.A wave of uncertainity gushed over her,what if he threw her letter?what if he tore it?She was not his friend anymore,she was not his 'Mini' now,she was just Saudamini for him.She used to feel uncomfortable when she remembered herself,her identity,and the identity of 'his mini' was removed from her life long ago.But now,she was used to it.
Her focus again shifted to the song and she started to hum with the lyrics
Palle vich aagg de angaare nahi lukde,
O ho ho palle vich aag de angaare nahi lukde,
Ishq de mushak chupaye nahi chupde,
Phir bhi ye raaz jaan jaati hai duniya,
Hothon pe lagale chahe taale koi chupde
Hothon pe lagale chahe taale koi chup de
O toota katra te yug da ye pyaar da
Leja leja sandesa sone yaar da
She was encumbered by a sense of spilling out everything,letting everything out today.Grabbing a piece of paper and pen she started:
Anirudh,
Suna tum baba banne waale ho.Bahut khushi hui,sach main.Aaj pata nahi kyu,dil kiya sab bahar nikaal doon,sab keh daalon jo aajtak nahi kaha.Pata hai?Kal maine dekha ki rumpu aur babai phir lad rahe the,woh bhi pata hai kyu?ek car ke liye.Mujhe humara bachpan yaad aa gaya,Yaad hai hum bhi aise hi ladaa karte the?Tum soch rahe hoge main achanak aaj ye sab kyu likh rahi hoon aur kyu tumse ye baatein kar rahi hoon,par kya karu?akeli hoon na,bahut yaad aati hai tumhari,itni toh uss samay bhi nahi aati thi jab tum london main the,shayad isliye kyunki tab mere paas tumhari chitthiyaan aur yaadein thi,ab kuch nahi hai,chitthiyan milti nahi,yaadein kadwi ho gayi hain.Bondita kaisi hai waise?Acchi hi hogi,tum jo ho uska khayaal rakhne ke liye aur main jo nahi hoon pareshaan karne ke liye.Main use court main dekha tha,bahut sundar ho gayi hai,mujhse bhi zyada.Khair,usse koi farak nahi padta ki main kaisi hoon,par isse padta hai ki tum kaise ho?
Waise...main tumhein kabhi yaad nahi aati houngi na?ya shayad bas ek buri yaad banke hoon tumhare dimaag main,par tum aur humara bachpan ek bahut khoobaurat yaad bankar hai mere dil main.Maine bahut galat kaam kiye,par tum batao,kya saari galti.sirf meri thi?main toh khud ek 21 saal ki bin maa ki beti thi na,mujhe koi sikhaane wala bhi nahi tha,na padhane wala,tumhari tarah itni kitaabein bhi nahi mili ki gyaan ki roshni se jagmagaage mera jeewan.Mera jeewan toh bas tum the,par jab tumne saath chodkar ek anjaan ladki ka haath thaam liya toh tumhein apne dard ka ehsaan dilaane ke liye maine ye sab kiya.Kya main maafi ke laayak nahi hoon,ek mauka bhi nahi mil sakta mujhe?
Offo,main bhi kya baatein lekar baith gayi,choro.Apna aur Bondita ka dhyaan rakhna,aur apne hone waale bacche ka bhi.Main use zaroor dekhna chahungi,agar tum itna bharosa karke use mere saamne laa pao toh,tum sabko mera pyaar.Aur haan,abtak toh tum jaan hi gaye hoge ye chitthi Mini ki taraf se hai,Saudamini ki taraf se nahi.
Tumhari Mini.
Aave na bichoda koi,bichde na yaar se,
Haaye o rabba maut changi,
Lambe intezaar se,
Dukh dena na kisiko intezaar da
Chitthi ye,dard firaaq waaliye,leja leja sandesa sone yaar da.
She folded the letter neatly and kept it inside a drawer beside a peacock feather.As usual,she won't send it to him,she was not that brave.A lone tear escaped her eye as the lyrics drew her attention towards itself and the song ended just like her hopes.
She gazed at the sky,smiling lightly and murmered:
Chitthi ye,dard firaaq waaliye
Leja leja sandesa sone yaar da.
Please listen to this song while reading this.This song was is hovering over my mind since morning and I am constantly humming this and hence decided to pen down this os,do vote and comment.
ESTÁ A LER
The String Of Their Lives
FanficSprings never came,winter never ended. They were thirsty all the seasons The thirst of love encumbering them.
